Sunday, February 24, 2013

big learning

When I was younger, I didn't want to have kids.  When I was younger, I didn't want to be a teacher.  Apparently Fate had a different idea.
Now that I have a child, I am immediately a teacher.  Yes, I am one of those crazy moms who is constantly trying to teach their child something.  I buy educational toys, and when she watches TV, it is only educational programs (unless she is watching TV with Daddy).  Regardless of that, she is still going to learn from me and everyone she comes in to contact with.  Even if I weren't trying to teach her, she would still model me and learn things from me.
I know I've said it before, but I am amazed at how much the little ones change.  I often don't see it, unless I look back at pictures.  Today, however, I am talking about development.  The big changes are obvious:  Rolling over, sitting, learning to crawl, cruising, walking.  It's the smaller changes that are really remarkable.  I've been told that kids at this age (13 months) and younger don't form memories.  In fact they say that a person doesn't form memories until about 3 years of age.  I don't believe that.
Today, Jorja and I were looking at some of her more interactive books.  I haven't taken these books out in awhile because she had started to wreck them a bit.  But when I did, not only was she much more interactive with the books (touching and feeling everything and interested), but remembered her favorite part from before!  If we don't have memories, how do we learn?
Each day is a new adventure.  Each day she learns something new.  Each day that I spend with her I love her even more, if that's possible.
We all change and grow as we get older.  We all learn something each day.  Her accomplishments just seem that much more amazing to me.  But, I'm probably biased.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

A year ago...

A year ago, I had a small being in my body.
She shared my food, my movements, everything.
She wiggled at night, and had the hiccups.
She stretched out as she got cramped in there.

A year ago, I started cramping.
She was ready to come out!
She made her presence known.
Slowly she finally made her appearance.

A year ago, a baby was born.
Such a beautiful little girl.
She was so perfect in every way.
She was our shining star.

A year ago, I never understood.
She has taught me so much.
She has shown me so much.
We grow together every day.

A year ago, I didn't know love.
How could I possibly love like this?
How could she possibly love me?
How could I possibly love anything more than her?

A year ago I met my lovely little girl, 
and my life has never been the same.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Craziness factor

OK, here comes a rant....

Why is it when you are in labour it suddenly gives you the right to be a crazy person?  Having been through the whole process of being pregnant, going through 12 hours of labour, pushing for 2.5 hours, only to end up with a c-section, I can tell you that through it all I was NOT crazy.  I did not scream or yell.  I did not swear, or call my partner names.  I did not blame him for the state I was in.   I did not cry and carry on and tell people I was going to die.   I did not treat the nurses or other staff with disrespect.  And above all, I was always courteous to the Anesthesiologist.
The people in the hospital are there to help you.  The nurses are there to look after you, and coach you.  The Obstetrician is there to bring your beautiful child into the world.  Your partner loves you and is with you 100% on this (or at least they should be, but that might be a different blog).  And, the Anesthesiologist is there to make your experience as pain free as possible. 
Now, let's remember that this is LABOUR.  It is called that because it is hard work and it hurts.  It is supposed to hurt.  In fact it was decreed by God:  To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.  Genesis 3:16  Like any muscle that you work out with or lift weights with, they get sore when they work hard. 
Luckily, there is a wonderful group of people out there who have dedicated their lives to helping people not have pain through things like surgery, and of course labour and delivery.  They are called Anesthesiologists.  I am not saying that everyone needs to have an epidural, or any kind of pain control for that matter.  If you don't need or want one, great!  But, if you do want one, or for some reason are told you need one, then please try to reign in the crazy.  Try not to yell, scream, or swear.  Don't continually ask, "Are you done yet?"  That is rude, and trust me, you'll know when it's done.  And, for God's sake, be STILL!  There is a very large (10cm long, 0.5cm thick) needle sticking in your back where there are lots of important structures that you do not want them to hit.
Try to remember that this is only a short time in your life.  In fact, it is only a short time in your pregnancy.  You are a strong individual who will need to be strong for your baby in the time to come.  This baby will rely on you for the rest of it's life and will look to you for strength.  Show them what you are made of now. 
And finally, remember, at the end of this marathon there is the best prize waiting - a smiling little baby.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Give Parents a Break

I like social media as much as the next person.  OK, maybe not as some people.  I don't Twitter or use Pinterest, but I do use Facebook, text, and of course, have a blog.  Sometimes, though, I think people use it for evil.
I was really angered by a long Facebook post (OK really a rant) that a friend of mine made.  Apparently, there was a conversation on the Earl's Facebook page going on about kids.  This friend of mine thought the conversation was awful.  Awful on the side of the people FOR kids.  She went on and on about how awful it is to have kids in a restaurant, how stupid parents are, and how she isn't a second class citizen just because she doesn't have kids.  It made me really mad, but I didn't respond.
Why didn't I respond?  Well, a couple of reasons.  First, I don't think Facebook is a place to have a fight (that's lame).  Second, I don't really want to have a fight with this person.  And third, I used to think like that.
Sure, when I didn't have kids I thought it was really insensitive to bring your kids to a restaurant.  Why make everyone else suffer?  Same thing goes for planes.  Really?  Do we have to listen to your child cry for 5 hours?  Not to mention how other people treat you.  Oh, you don't have kids?  Well, you won't mind doing extra call, or working all the holidays.
Then, I had kids.  Sometimes you can't get a babysitter and you really just want to go out to eat for a change.  Most restaurants are very accomodating (even Earls, despite the lack of a change table).  And, most parents are really trying to get them not to cry or scream during that time.  It can be a challenge, though.  My little one gets hungry and feels like you are ignoring her if you are eating or talking and not including her.
And the plane?  Give me a break.  People with families deserve a vacation too (probably more), and it's often better to take a plane.  Much more sane to take a 3 hour flight then try to drive for 2 days with a little one.  Again, we do our best.  I try to not even feel my little one until we are taking off so she won't cry.  The same thing goes for landing.  We wait to feed her on the way down.  The rest of the time it is so loud in the plane that you honestly can't tell me you hear her.
Now, the vacation stuff I still have issue with.  The holidays are special for everyone.  No, I don't want to do more call, but I will do my share.  I am grateful I had both Christmas and New Years off this year, but I have worked Christmas every year for the last 5 years, so I think I have done my bit.  Just because you don't have kids doesn't mean you should work more or always have to do the holidays.  It should be fair.  Luckily, our department is fair that way.
Sometimes I miss my life as a DINK.  Traveling, shopping, going out to movies and dinner with friends was all so easy.  But, I was bored.  I watched A LOT of TV.  What was my purpose in life?  And really, I don't think I was a very good person.  I drank too much, I did stupid things, and I was selfish.  Kids has changed all that.  I am never bored.  I don't do stupid things (or try not to) or swear, and I never drink too much.  I am a better person.  I am no longer a selfish person.  There is always someone else I think of first.  She has made me that way, and I thank her for that.
So, the next time you are on a plane, or in a restaurant and there is a kid crying, give the parents a break.  They really are trying.  And, they are probably better people for it.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

End of the World?

The world is supposed to end in three days.  The Mayan calender is supposed to end on December 21, 2012.  Some people believe that this means that the world is coming to an end.  Maybe.... But, even if it does, I'm OK with that. 
Now, I'm not saying that I want the world to end.  I would be sad (although if the world ended I would probably be dead so I wouldn't know the difference), but I'm ready. 
What I mean is that I feel gratitude.  Gratitude for the wonderful life that I live.  I have accomplished everything I set out to.  I have a wonderful loving family.  I have a beautiful, healthy daughter that I feel blessed to have brought into this world.  I like my job and the people I work with.  I am comfortable and without true want.  I feel thankful and blessed.
So, if the world does end, I am OK.  I'd like to see what else I can accomplish, and maybe have another baby.  But, if the Mayans are right, so be it.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

My truest love

OK, I seem to have a new obsession.  Can you guess what it is?  One hint, the last SEVERAL blogs have been about it.  Yes, my little one.
I have never loved any one as much as I love her.  Not my mother, not my father, not my husband.  I am amazed by all the things she can do.  All the new things she discovers just blows me away. 
I knew this was the reason to have children.  I thought I would delight in what my children would learn.  I thought I would marvel at their development.  But, I never knew just how wonderful it would be.
Sure, there are some trying times.  There are those early days when you are sleep deprived, and all they seem to do is eat and sleep and cry.  Not fun.  The melt downs in the car after a long day when she is tired, hot, and hungry (who can blame her), or worse in the store, not fun.  Changing poopy diapers that make you gag with the smell.  Not fun.
Then, there are the other times.  The first time she smiled at me.  The first kiss to my husband.  The first time she stood, and crawled, and cruised.  Her first tooth.  Most of all, though, it is the development of her mind.  Her personality has just blossomed, along with her imagination.  Yes, I know she is still a baby, but, she made up a game tonight.  Along with this, comes her laugh.  That is my favorite thing.  You can't help but smile in response to that toothless grin.  The laughter, though, is not just infectious, but intoxicating!  I would go to just about any lengths to hear that laugh.  So sweet.  So pure.  So innocent.
Someday she'll be a teenager.  Someday she won't want to be seen with me.  Someday she might tell me she hates me. 
Until then, she is my one truest love.
I am amazed at how fast these little ones grow up!  The changes and growth is just astounding.  Sometimes I don't notice it because I am with her everyday, but then sometimes it is so profound it is hard not to notice.

Jorja is now crawling, standing, and cruising.  She is getting into everything, and a lot of fun.  She is babbling and saying a couple of words (we think her first word was cat and kitty).  She definitely has her own little personality.
I am a little sad that soon she will no longer be a baby.  I think about my age and think I should have another one NOW.  Convincing my husband, however will be a challenge.  It was hard enough with the first one, and he is not as smitten as I am.
I also think about how much harder it will be with two.  Right now it's pretty easy.  I can take her anywhere.  There is only one car seat, one kid to get ready, one kid to put to bed.  Easy.  Two it just that much more challenging.  How does one get groceries?  Or have time for yourself, for that matter?
And so, I follow my cycle and dream of more babies, but I haven't really done anything solid about having another one.  I guess you can never be sure.  I guess it is never easy.  But, if this one is any indication, it is so worth it.