First Kiss

My husband told me not that long ago that when our daughter was born he didn't really care for her, but now he likes her.  In fact, now, he loves her.  That's because she is so much more fun than she was when she was a little helpless infant.  She is learning new things everyday, and is so much more interactive.  She laughs and giggles (as you saw from my last post), babbles and points, claps, and crawls all over the place investigating things.  She was even chasing the cats today (although they quickly got away).
The clincher for my husband, however, was the other day.  For some reason, she decided that she didn't want go to sleep for a few days.  It was like she had anxiety about us leaving her in her crib alone.  She had been doing so well, going to bed without any "sleep crutches", and quietly drifting off on her own.  Suddenly, it was not the case and we were back to her crying again. 
Sometimes I can be the tough one, and sometimes not.  This particular night, I was the tough one.  I was willing to wait 10 minutes before I went up there again.  So, I busied myself with other things to keep myself from thinking about the wailing going on upstairs.  That night, though, my hubby just couldn't take it.  He went up there before the 10 minutes was up to see if he could calm her.  She still cried, but eventually went to sleep with him there.
When he came back downstairs, he had tears in his eyes!  I was so surprised.  He had never been upset with her crying before.  When I asked him if he was crying, he admitted he was, but that it wasn't what I thought.  He was happy!  What?!  Now, I was really confused.  He then told me that before she finally went to sleep, she leaned up and gave him a kiss!  Her first kiss ever!  Even I, the favorite, had not yet received a kiss!  My heart just melted.
So, now he knows that she loves him.  And, he loves her.  So special.  I am so happy that my two most favorite people in the whole world each knows how much the other cares for them.
Maybe this will help in the convincing to have another baby.  ;)

Giggles

OMG, the best sound in the world has to be babies laughing.  I absolutely LOVE it when our little monkey laughs, and I will do almost anything to hear it.  Sometime, though, I am totally surprised by what makes her laugh. 
The other night it was just me and her, Daddy was at work.  I was feeding her her last bottle of the night and must have grazed her belly.  She is ticklish!  She started to laugh.  So, I kept it up.  She was squealing and laughing as I was tickling her little belly.  Then, I started to tickle her toes.  That was also a hit!  More squealing and laughing ensued!
This is behavior you expect when a little one is older, but not from a baby.  At least, I didn't expect it.  It was so wonderful!  It makes the sleepless nights, and grumpy days all worth it!!

Potty training?

I don't mind changing diapers, but I think it's going to get old soon.  So, I am wondering, when can you start potty training?  I have heard horror stories of three year olds who are still not potty trained!  My baby still has soft, liquidy poops.  Imagine a three year old?!  I wouldn't want to be changing that!  I want to start potty training my daughter as soon as she can stand on her own.  Is that too early?  Could I even start training now?  I have also heard of something called Elimination Communication.  This is part of Attachment Parenting, of which I am a half-believer (i.e. I breast feed, baby wear, and attend to babies cries, for the most part), so I can only get on board with this part way as well.  Can the pooping over the toilet part help?
Again, just like all things baby, there is a TON of literature out there.  Why are babies, and kids in general, so hard to figure out?!

There are some things that having a baby definitely changes, like your body, and your relationship (see my last post).  I hoped, however, that not all things would change.  I hoped that the things that have made me, me would still be the same.  I hoped that my likes, dreams, and hopes would remain.  Yesterday, I realized that it is possible.
I went running yesterday.  Sure, that is no big deal.  I am training for another half marathon coming up very soon.  I have done them before.  But now, I have a running partner.  A tiny, sometimes fussy, always beautiful, running partner who prefers to be pushed in a stroller rather than run beside me.  Well, actually, she probably would run if she could, but she just can't, yet.
I have posted before about the comradery that happens with runners.  Now, trying to get my body back and get back into shape, I haven't seen that.  It seems I belonged to a different group.  One that had eluded me until now.  Until yesterday, anyway.
I was running along, pushing my baby, and passed a group of runners.  I silently wished I could be one of them again.  Running in a pack of adults, all with a common goal.  When they ran by, one of them asked me if I had a "motor" in my stroller.  When I replied that it was "just me", they all congratulated me and yelled well wishes my way.  Even though it was different, it felt really good.  Just like the old days when I would get a nod or wave or encouraging comment from a fellow runner on the trail. 
Although I've gone from being a gal training for my first marathon to help get a killer bod, to a gal training for a marathon to get my bod back.  Things have changed, but are still the same, only now I have a little cheering squad.  Emphasis on little! 

bonded?

Kids change a relationship.  People always told me it would, but I didn't believe them.  They also said that about getting married, and that wasn't true.  My relationship didn't change much at all from before I was married until after.  But, it did change after the arrival of our first child.
At first, it made me love my husband so much more.  We bonded when I was pregnant, and in the first few weeks as we marveled at our new tiny bundle of joy.  She was so tiny, so helpless, and we were clueless, so we bonded together and supported one another.
Then when we had to face real life again, and my husband went back to work, our relationship changed again.  This time, however, not for the better.  We began to resent each other.  It was hard.  He resented that I wasn't working, and I resented his resentment.  Not to mention that I felt like he wasn't helping out anymore.
Then, I went back to work.  At first it was just one day a week, but that really helped.  I felt like I was contributing, and so did he.
Now, our baby is growing and changing.  She is fast becoming a person with a personality all of her own.  Her laughter and talking bring us both joy, and now we are bonding again.  We laughed together the first time we fed her and she mushed her fingers in some avacadoe, and it was all over her face.  We gushed at each other the first time she rolled over.  With each new milestone, we bond again.
Sure, there are still times when we fight, argue, and resent each other.  We fight about two things - money and the baby.  But, in the end, she was made with love.  Our love.  I can only hope and pray that we will be able to love so much more that she will have a sibling some day!

6 months

 I can't believe it has been 6 months with my little one already.  She has gone from a little baby that didn't do anything to a little angel full of energy and laughter!  So many changes with rolling over, cooing, babbling, smiling, laughing, and ever growing!  Here are some of my favorites to document our journey:

 Funny shirts.

First smiles

 First vacation to Scottsdale.

 First time swimming (she loved it!)!

 Meeting Great grandparents for the first time.

 First Mother's day all together.

 Great grandma's 95th birthday.

Pretty dress in first wedding. (with Anutie)

Rolling over, playing with toys, and looking so beautiful!!

Protection forever

I'm sitting here tonight looking at nanny websites. As my Mat leave comes to an end, we need to start thinking about child care. We are on a waiting list for Day Care, but it doesn't come available for almost a year (Feb. 2013). So, between then and now we need to figure something out. I read all these profiles of these young girls and wonder if I could really leave my daughter with one of them? How an I possibly trust someone enough for that? It was hard enough to leave her with y mom on that first day a month and a half ago. But, it was my MOM, of course I trust her. You hear these stories of orrible things happening to kids. Would I ever forgive myself if I left her with someone and something happened? Is work really that important? I wish I could convince my husband to ave a live-in annoy. At least there would be motivation to do a good job, r they would get sent hoe. Also, the agencies for that seem top notch. If a nanny doesn't work out, I hear you just Mae a phone call, and they're gone! I wsh one og our parents would be willing to look after her long term. I wouldn't hae to worry then. And then, when the Day Care spot opened up she would be older, and it's accredited, with accountability ... But I can't expect that. They ave their own lives. I wsh this was easier. I guess it isn't because she is the most important reason in my life whom I love to bits. I wouldn't just trust her with just anyone. Ultimately I will have to put my trust in someone, my faith in society. I just wish she was older before I had to do that. But, I suppose we can't protect them forever... But I sure wish I could.