Friday, February 27, 2009


This is us on the Universal Studios tour. Some of the same stuff as when I was five was there! Do people even know who Jaws is anymore?

Los Angeles was really cool, but drving in 6 lanes of traffic to get there was crazy!

Everything at DisneyLand seemed so much smaller than when I was five!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

San Diego

We were recently in San Diego for a conference. It was a Transesophageal Echocardiography conference. I learned a lot, but it got a bit boring near the end. Nonetheless, I managed to make some friends, do some shopping, and see some sites:

At the conference we had a "wet lab" in which we dissected a pig heart.

These were some of the friends we met there. Tim works in Regina with us, and Francois and his wife we met there.

After the conference was over we did some site seeing in San Diego.

An old aircraft carrier, the Midway, was turned into a museum. We spent almost 2 hours wandering around it and looking at the planes on it.

In Balboa park, there are a ton of museums. One of which was the museum of man. The outside looks like a church!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Suffering in San Deigo

We are in San Diego right now. We have been here for a week, 6 days of which we have been at a very intense conference (the other was arriving here). The first few days were really good. We learned a lot. I thought to myself, "OK, I can do this". I can learn this stuff and do echo, and continue to do Cardiac Anesthesia. The next few days were alright, but not as good. It was repetitive, and I started to not understand everything, but I perservered, I continued. I learned even more. Some of our friends also joined us for those days, and that helped a lot. We could go out for dinner, and joke about some of the things we were supposed to be learning. Then came the "Advanced Course". Not so interesting. Much less understanding. And, finally, I have reached the end. No, not the end of the conference (there is still over 7 hours of lectures left). The end of my patience, the end of caring, the end of wanting to be here anymore. I even said to my hubby that maybe we should think about coming home early.
Alas, all is not lost. Soon we will be on vacation. We can sleep in, go shopping, see some sights, do what we want, and not learn for a little while. I think San Diego might have some fun things to offer (although I don't know that yet), as will Anaheim and DisneyLand. I just have to hold on a little longer.
How did I ever do this for 14 years straight? OK, I guess the last 6 years were more like work with small bouts of lectures thrown in. However, now I really understand how once people get out into the work force they really don't want to go back to school. You just get out of practice.
At least it is cloudy today. It makes it much easier to be in a dark boring room all day. And, we took some time off, and hung out in the hot tub for a bit. That really helped. Now, I feel a little more refreshed and like I could listen to someone blather on about echo for a bit more. It can be sunny on Saturday. Then we can enjoy it.
Just a little more....

Thursday, February 5, 2009

cold feet frustration

AAAAaaaaahhhhhh!! I am so frustrated with myself and with my life right now! We have been looking for a house and finally found one that we thought we liked. Jurgen even, somehow, convinced himself that he could be happy there. Two days ago, he phoned into my OR and said we should make an offer on the house. I agreed, but immediately started to feel uneasy. He made the appointment with the realtor the day before we were to go to San Diego on a conference. I agreed, and continued to feel uneasy. Fast forward to today (the day before we go to San Diego).... After not sleeping for two days and worrying, it was the day we would make an offer. The hours ticked by and I did my job. I got home, cleaned the house, and thought to myself, "I can't do this". I knew that somehow I had convinced Jurgen to buy a house, and somehow he had convinced himself he would be happy there, and now I was too nervous to go on. I knew that were I to tell him I didn't want to do this, he would never be convinced again. I hate it when I'm right.

Something wasn't right. Maybe it was the timing. Maybe it was where the house is (in White City). Maybe it was a couple of things I didn't think were "perfect" about the house. Maybe it was just that we were leaving for two weeks to another country and I didn't want the stress of having to negotiate a house while we were away. In the end, it doesn't matter what it was, it just wasn't right. And yes, Jurgen was mad. And yes, I will never be able to convince him to buy a house again.

Then, I am frustrated with my job. I have had a couple of cases that haven't been satisfying lately. I made a couple of calls that ended up being "weak" choices. I was able to rectify the situation, but it was more stressful than it had to be. I have had to call for help, and get assistance much more than I would like. I don't know if I am just hard on myself, but sometimes I feel like the surgeons don't respect me or my decisions. Sure, I am green, but in the end someone thought I was competent, or they wouldn't have given me the FRCPC designation.

So, where do I go from here? San Diego. Literally. I can't possibly think of anything else but this conference right now. Will that house be there when we come back? Maybe. Will we decide we want it then? Maybe. Will I be able to convince Jurgen? Maybe(not). And my job? Well, maybe I just need a vacation.

Tincture of time. That makes everything better.