Friday, June 27, 2008

spiritual moment

It seems like the universe is trying to tell me something. I have been bombarded by spirituality lately. Yesturday we went to Jurgen's Aunt's house for dinner. His cousins, whom I love, were there. Both of them are quite different from how I see myself, but also similar. One is a Vegan, and one has recently discovered a new spirituality. As much as I find so much of that stuff a little weird, I have to admit I was intrigued. Then, today I had the luxury of watching the last 15 minutes of Oprah. Again, they were talking about spirituality and how you can "heal your life". Both of these, although different, had the same message: you have the power to change your life through positive thoughts and actions.
Think about it. It makes sense, doesn't it? When you are happy, the world is your oyster. You are smarter, stronger, better. When you are depressed, the world is dark, cold, empty. It is so much easier to harness positive energy than negative energy. So simple, and yet we are all not doing it? What makes it so difficult to do that? How do we let ourselved become overwhelmed with negative energy and thoughts? All of us do it. So, how to change it? I guess that is where these folks have come in. Their ideas of "positive thinking", "vision boards", and "the Law of Attraction".
Where does this leave us? The universe is trying to get my attention, and if you are reading this, yours as well. Why not try it? For one week, I am going to try and be completely positive, and grateful. Also, I will envsion a goal and think positively about it. The universe wants to listen, we just need to speak its language. Try it. See what happens.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Sunday, June 15, 2008


I am currently in Halifax. I am here for the Canadian Anesthesiology Society Annual Meeting. The conference itself is a bit ho-hum, but I LOVE Halifax. Great shopping, great restaurants, great people, great views. I could live here. I have been to some of the talks, but let's be honest, I was really here to see Halifax. I think most people are. We saw some of our attendings out shopping, so I didn't feel quite so bad then. I have also been seen at the conference (several times), so that is good too.
My Mom comes in tonight. I wasn't going to go pick her up, but I think that would be a nice surprise for her. We have never been out just the two of us on a vacation before. There has always been someone else there - my dad, my brother, my grandmother. So, this should be interesting. We should have a lot of fun together. There are some places that I have already thought of that I want to take her, and I am sure there is stuff that she wants to see as well. She has spent a bit more time here than me, so she might know some more stuff to see. Either way, it should be fun - just the girls.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

my life in a box

The sky outside echoes how I feel inside. It is cloudy with the sun just trying to break through and shine. That is how I feel at present - a little sad, but also joyful at what is to come. I am leaving. After 14 years of sweat and toil, of tears and joy, I am leaving. I am packing up the house that I have lived in for five years. The first house that I ever bought, my first house as husband and wife. The house where I toiled and sweat and worried as a resident.

It is kind of sad really. The mere fact that you can pack your entire life into 15 little boxes is just a little depressing. Not to mention that I hate moving. I hate it. I find it very stressful. What if I don't get everything done? Well, there is always the movers. They are packing all of my breakables, and whatever else I don't quite get done.

Then there is the excitement: I am moving to Regina. I will be with my husband and kitties again. We will be a family. I am starting my CAREER. Not just another year of my training, not just another year of my residency, but the actual career that I have been striving for for the last 14 years! I am excited, and a little apprehensive all at the same time. I will really have to prove myself now. It is not enough to just have those little letters (FRCPC), but now I have to prove that I am worth them. Everyone says it is better. Everyone says there is not as much of an adjustment as you would think. If those before me can do it, so can I!

The future is wide open. What cases will I do? What places will we visit? Will we buy a new house? Car? What about kids? It is all open at this point (mostly for discussion).

At this point, I just want to finish packing.