Down with Zombies!

I don't understand the new obsession people seem to have with Zombies. There have been all those movies - ZombieLand, Shawn of the Dead, 28 Days later, Dawn of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead, Day of the Dead, Diary of the Dead, etc. And now, that new TV mini series Walking Dead.

I personally have a phobia of Zombies (although they don't exhist). I can watch almost anything - monsters, thrillers, killers, aliens, etc., but not zombies. It stems from when I was a kid. I watched all these movies, and then "played" the movies, and got totally freaked out!

I really think it says something about society. It is like we all feel a little "dead" inside, like walking zombies. We feel that with all the problems in our own lives and all the problems with the world, that we couldn't possibly "feel" any more. So, we become dead inside. Not to mention the fact that society as a whole tells us what to buy, what to wear, how to act, what to think. So, we are just mindless beasts, plodding along, shuffling our feet, unfeeling, uncaring, not alive. And thus, zombies are just a reflection of how we are all feeling.

And those people in the movies (and TV series) that fight the zombies? They are what we really wish we could be. Good hearted, caring people who fight for what we believe in and try to make a difference in the world. We are constantly threatened by the virus of the world that endangers our humanity.

So, I say boo! to the zombies! We will not go quietly into the night! We will not allow society to dictate a dead life for us. We will fight, and change, and FEEL. No way will we end up like Columbus, who says, "It's amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm."

Alright, I lied, I do like that one movie, but hey, it's funny.

reprieve

Whenever it gets like this I always feel like I need a vacation. So tired. Working so hard.

The last 3 days I have had a student (which is draining), and have been late every day. It boils down to working 10-12 hours every day. Makes for a long week. And, I am on call this weekend (Friday, Sunday).

The other problem is all the snow we've had. I like winter and snow, but it has been so Grey. I feel like I could take minus 40 any day as long as there is sun. Right now we don't have either. It is cold, snowy, and grey. Boo.

Sigh. Sometimes I wish I could just have a nice boring desk job in which I worked 9-5. Having a coffee break and lunch break would be great. Sometimes I just dream of going out for lunch.

Well, good thing we are going to Vegas in the 2nd week of Dec. It will be fun, but I am hoping we will get a bit of rest in as well. Maybe I will book a spa treatment for myself. Either way, it will be a nice reprieve.

And then there is Christmas coming. Again, boo. Not a fan. Too much stress and too much to do.

Maybe I'd fee better in the hot tub.

Last bit of summer?

It feels like summer. In a year where it rained SO much that our unfinished yard looked like a lake for most of the summer, we are having a gorgeous November. Admittedly, it is only a week in, but it is lovely. We had a really nice October too, until the inevitable snow storm right before Halloween. What is with that? Why do SK kids always have to find costumes they can wear OVER their snow suits?

Anyway, I am indulging in the nice weather by sitting outside, in the sun, with a beer while I make BBQ chicken. I decided to have my husband's family over while it is still nice. I am trying to soak up as much sun and get as much vitamin D as possible before the long cold months set in.

Luckily, we are going to some warmer places over the winter months. This is fast becoming a fantastic habit. Vegas in December to do some last minute Christmas shopping and warm up a bit, and then Cuba in February for 2 weeks. That has to be one of my favourite things to do - go on a "hot trip" in the winter. It definitely helps when you have 6 months of winter.

Now that that silly exam is over, I feel like I can relax a little. (At least until I find out that I failed the stupid thing) We have been out for dinner, watched some movies, and, of course, laid in the hot tub. Life is good when you are finished your exams (at least until something else comes up!), and have some free time.

Heavy Hearted After the Cardiac Exam

I thought I was done with all this. Stress, worry, and most of all that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach after a bad exam. It is that feeling that haunts most adults. The nightmare of being back in middleschool/highschool/college and having forgotten to study for that big exam (what exam?! Oh my god!). People told me that feeling would go away. Those nightmares would vanish. Apparently, not so. Not when you keep taking exams.

The good thing about this exam is it doesn't really matter. No matter what, my life doesn't change. I still have a great job, in a great city, with great people. I still have an amazing family, and an amazing house, and a great life. If I don't pass, I might have to write it again, or I might not be able to do cardiac anesthesia anymore, but I can still do everything else. Again, my life doesn't really change, but it still sucks.

My hubby and I wrote the same exam at the same time today, a first for us. We have discovered that we don't study the same, we don't handle stress the same, and we are a bit competitive. When we finished we both felt pretty shitty about the exam. The difference was that he thought this was "the hardest exam he had ever written". I can't really say the same. Does that mean I did better than him? Most likely not (he is "scary smart"), but I have done REALLY poorly on some exams in the past. I don't think he ever really has. I am willing to wait and see how it goes. Maybe we will both be surprised.

Sigh....

Nonetheless, it felt really good to come home (the exam was in Saskatoon, which I do not miss), see the kitties, and then watch the sunset from the hot tub. That felt better. I just wish that heavy pit in my stomach would go away.

I guess I'll just have to stop taking exams.