City and Colour and Cyberfriends

I blog for my sanity. I blog for catharsis. To write down words that I might otherwise not be able to express to anyone else. I blog for me.

So, you might ask, Why blog, then? Why not just write everything down in a journal? If is just for me anyway, why do I care if anyone reads this? Well, on one hand, I don't care if anyone reads this. On the other hand, I think it is great that they do. I guess the reason is that I hope that I am not alone out there. That, somehow somewhere, there is someone out there experiencing the same things as I am. I feel like if I have the courage to write my experiences and feelings that that may strengthen someone else.

It works the other way, too. I had an anonymous person comment on one of my posts. They said that my words were exactly what they needed to hear that night, like an old friend. Hearing that made it all worth it. They also mentioned a band I had never heard - City and Colour. So, I thought I would check it out. And, I love it! I immediately downloaded a bunch of their music. I am, right now, listening to them as I write this.

Tonight, this blog goes out to all of those who read, and all of those who write. Not just on blogs, but other forms of Cyberspace. Keep posting and commenting on Facebook. Keep Tweeting your goings on. One post at a time we can stay connected, and make a change, even if it is just for one person, to help them get through a lonely night.

Happy Teach

If you read this blog, you probably know that I have a new job. No, I am still an Anesthesiologist. That hasn't changed. I have another job. I am the Undergraduate Education Coordinator for the Department of Anesthesiology in Regina. Sounds impressive, right. Not really. There are a lot of emails, and meetings, and emails about meetings. Sometimes, I feel really frustrated that nothing is changing. See, I can't make any changes on my own. As the University of Saskatchewan is our parent program, and we are just a satellite in the "Distributive Model of Learning", I must comply with what they want and see fit. I have a lot of ideas and passion, and a lot of the time I just feel like the program is stagnant. Everyone is busy, and stuff just takes TIME.

However, lately I have felt very fulfilled with my new position. I have been fortunate to have a really great bunch of students come through our program lately. Not all of them want to do Anesthesia. In fact, not a single one lately wants to do Anesthesia, but they are all interested. They can all see the value in what we do and how it can impact the rest of their careers, and patient care. They have been keen, interested, and generally fun to be around! So, that in itself has been rewarding.

But it is even better than that! First off, I have seen that some of what I am saying to the students is actually sinking in! They are LEARNING! I worked with a resident today and he remembered a lot of what we talked about the time before. That is really what this job is about - imparting knowledge.

Then, there is the fact that by being around students, it helps me to take a look at my own knowledge and my own practice. Why do I do the things I do? How can I have forgotten that much information in such a short time (it was only 3 years since my Royal College Exam!!). It is a great motivator to continue to learn when you fear that you might look like an idiot in front of a student. Teaching forces you to stay current and in the know.

Finally, there are the other perks. I have met students who, like me, are Celiacs and are constantly in search for great Gluten Free recipes. It has been great to bond with those people and swap stories and recipes (gotta love networking, however it happens ;) ). And, last but not least, I have been nominated for Teacher of the Year in Regina!!!!!! I love to teach, but was always worried I wasn't any good. You know, sometimes you just aren't into it. Just like sometimes they aren't into learning, I get it. So, to even have the priviledge of being nominated is so incredibly flattering. When I heard that, it just made my day! Heck, I could ride that wave for months!

More property?

We have had really good luck with property in the past. We bought our first house in Saskatoon for a ridiculously low price and managed to make $200,000 when we sold it. Then, we bought a condo in Regina for my hubby to live in, while I finished school, which we sold for an extra $140,000. Somewhere in there we bought a lakefront property for what was really reasonable at the time (although some people thought we overpaid, there was nothing cheaper that was usuable). And, we bought our house in White City that we now live in. So, right now we own 2 properties - our house and our cabin.

Our cabin, however, is a real piece of shit. No, really. The property itself is lovely and very usable, and so we use it a lot. But the house was built in the 1950s, and not very well. After 60 years, it is finally and totally falling apart. The biggest problem is that the roof has been leaking for years (we finally reshingled it) before we even got it. Now the roof is rotten, and probably the walls too. It is really gross actually. Not to mention the fact that it is too small to even house a regular sized bed.

We got a phone call from our neighbours at the lake today. They are selling their place. So, that gives us a new option. We could keep our house and build something on it eventually (which is our original plan, but my hubby has put off for 5 years already), or we could just buy their place, and then just landscape our lot. It would give us double the property size, and more privacy because of that.

They have put a lot of work into their house, and it looks great. It has lots of room, a big kitchen, and is winterized. Just what we want. We think we could put a big deck on the side of the house (big enough for a hot tub for sure!), a proper boat house on the other side of the house, and like I said landscape ours.

So, where is the problem? Well, we are so close to having EVERYTHING paid off (our big house, our newly landscaped yard, and our cabin at the lake), that my hubby really doesn't want to incur anymore debt. I can't say as I really blame him, but it would solve our dilemma of the cabin. We would have a winterized cabin, that wasn't rotting, that shouldn't need any work for a long time, that we could use for a long time (at least 15-20 years). I am also torn for another reason. If we just wait, and build our own place, we can build what we want. Not to mention, that having more property means more work. More grass to mow. More trees to water. Sure, we could put a huge deck on (that would help), and zeroscape some of it, but still. We are just not sure. Maybe we should go look at it? Maybe, they would give us a deal because we know them.

HHHHhhmmmmmmmm....... What to do?