Wednesday, November 9, 2011

worry-wort parent?

I think I am a worry-wort. First, I was worried about the pregnancy. You hear so many horror stories, and people at the beginning said some awful things, so I didn't know what to expect. Then, I was worried about the baby. Would there be something wrong? Would I be able to carry to term? What about all the stuff you can't test for? Well, the last two I still worry about, but the other stuff passed and was OK.
Now, I am worried about being a parent. What if I can't handle it? What if I suck? What if my baby has colic and I am unable to cope? What if my baby never sleeps? What if we can't find childcare? What if there IS something wrong with her? How will I know what to do? What she needs?
I guess everyone feels like this, and it probably doesn't get better when you first meet them. Then, it is probably worse for a bit. Like, "holy shit, what have we gotten ourselves into?"
You hope that you have a great support network that might be able to help you and give you good advice. You hope your loved ones, and those who have been through this will be able to shed some light and lend a helping hand, but in the end it is you who has to deal with things and learn to cope. After all, it is your baby, and your life choice.
I read somewhere that if you are worried you won't be a good parent, that already points to the fact that you probably WILL be a good parent (really bad parents wouldn't care). I just wish kids came with an instruction manual or something and you could take a test before they were born. Then, if you didn't pass (with flying colours) you weren't ready to have a baby and you should just wait. Some people have even suggested licenses for becoming parents, but that is a whole other issue (and blog!).
I have armed myself with literature and websites. I will attempt to control the things I can (like having the nursery ready, and maybe the house baby-proofed). As a control-freak, though, it is hard to let go of all the other stuff.
I worried about all the other things in my life (school, work, relationships), so I guess it is only natural to worry about this. They all turned out, so hopefully this will too.


Michelle said...

You will be an awesome mommy! And you'll call your friend Michelle to ask as many questions as needed whenever you want!

Dr. McBain said...

haha. Thanks, Michelle. I'm sure everyone worries.