Thursday, August 6, 2009

difficut to read

I really hate it when I can't read people properly. Was that an insult? Or, were they just joking? When I first met my now hubby, I hated him. Mostly, it was just that - I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. I mean, he doesn't even know me, so how can he be insulting me and making fun of me? Then I realized that that is a lot of what he does. Now I get it. Now I love him. I have been with him for 13 years, I should get it, but this isn't about him.

I worked with someone yesturday who I just met. I don't know him from a hole in the ground. For all I know, he could be a really amazing, funny, nice guy, but he could just as easily be an asshole. And, I couldn't read him. Apparently, I am not the only one. When I asked around, people would either tell me that they didn't like him, or that they couldn't read him. Not really a glowing recommendation. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I am not sure.

I am still new and so don't really feel I can tell people (surgeons) where to go if they piss me off. Also, that is just not my style. I am much more likely to grimace, and vent about it later (my poor hubby usually bears this burden). And so, when he started telling me what to do, I just put my head down and did it. I don't like conflict, and frankly, I didn't really care.

However, at the end of the day, after a 6 hour case (ugh!) he says to me, " You are lucky you have a job.". WTF! What does that mean? Was that a joke? Was he referring, maybe to the economic downturn and that we are all lucky to have a job? Was he referring to the fact that he lost his job and now had to come to poor old Regina to do some remdial time, and I was lucky I didn't have to do that? Or was he just being an asshole (especially because it wasn't a bad case).

At first I wasn't sure what I had heard. Then, I was too shocked to say anything, or even ask him what he meant. Again, I would love to give him the benefit of the doubt, but...... In the end, I was mad, and still am. Most of the surgeons here like me. They know that when I am there, I like to work. I work hard. And I really try to do what is best for the team (including the surgeon and most importatnly, the patient).

I guess it doesn't really matter, as this guy isn't going to be here long. However, next time you can bet, I won't just vent afterwards.

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