Ever since Monday I haven't slept right. Ever since Monday I have been afraid. Ever since Monday I have felt sick in the bottom of my stomach. Monday night I crashed my car.
I was on my way to work to start my evening of call. I was rushing. Someone hit me and crashed in my car. It was my fault. I have no excuse, just rushing.
No one was hurt, and yes, that is the most important thing. However, I still feel sick. I feel terrible. Not only for the damage to a car that technically isn't mine (my hubby pays for it), not only for the fact that it is a brand new car, not only that I damaged someone elses car, but because it could have been a LOT worse. No, no one would have died, but anyone of the people invovled in the accident could have been hurt.
Now, whenever I drive down the street I am anxious. Is something else going to happen? Will this time it be someone elses fault, but still not a good outcome? I can still hear the sound of metal against metal, the brakes screeching, and, of course, my own screams in my ears.
I wish I could go back through time. I wish I could make it better, but I can't. Accidents happen, I know, but it doesn't help this feeling.
At least they are fixing the car. At least soon it will be over. A bad memory, but that is all. Sigh. I just wish I could get over it a bit sooner.