Insurance secrets

I am increasing my insurance. So, of course, that comes with a price. The insurance company sends out a nurse to ask you a ton of questions, take your blood and urine. It felt weird. Although I have nothing to hide (my life is an open book), the whole time she was here I felt like she was digging for secrets. All of this hidden in a a facade of chatter and humor. I said to Jurgen earlier that I felt like they were going to take my blood, do a DNA test and find out exactly when I would die, and of what. He told me that I watch too many movies. Still, does it make a difference that I enjoy a glass of wine with dinner sometimes? What about all the stuff you can't control, like migraines, Celiac disease, etc. I feel like you are being punished for bad luck. Isn't it enough that you have these things? I kept hoping my blood pressure was lower, my heart rate lower, my height taller, and my weight less. Doesn't it count that I run, try and eat well, and don't smoke? It should, but I am not sure. What secrets will they discover? What lies have I told? What is my body hiding from me that they will find out? The whole thing just felt: SKETCHY!

Is it possible to feel more alone in your own city and your own house, than you would if you were in the middle of no where? I think so. That is how I feel. I have been spending a lot of time by myself lately. Some time alone is good, but too much just makes you feel lonely. I go for runs, do errands, and research a trip which may never come to pass. All the while waiting for the time to come when I will have human contact again. I wait for him to come home, thinking we can do something together, but no that does not happen.
Lately, it is all fights and disappointment. I feel like a roommate, only I sleep less than I would if I were just a housemate (then I would have my own room and I wouldn't have to put up with his snoring). How can two people who have been married for almost 4 years and together alomst 12 have so little in common with each other? We don't like to do any of the same things. I feel like we are living two completely separate lives, only in paralell.
Sometimes I think I would like to have a child, but then I think, would I really want to bring a child into this relationship? It wouldn't make it any better, thats for sure! It would probably be a lot like this for the first few months - him making me feel guilty for not working, having to rely on him for money and being made to feel guilty. Only thing is, it would be a lot less fun, as I would be exceedingly tired and grumpy from having been up with the tike all night. A little sad really, it is the next step in our relationship and I fear it.
Will things change when I start work again? Absolutely! No more guilt about not working, no more guilt about not having money. Will our relationship change? I doubt it. A selfish person who can only be jealous of their partner instead of happy for them, will not change. I will just have more freedom.
Now, if I could just find someone to take my trips with me!

Brotherhood and Anesthesia

It is funny how people seem to band together about certain things. Whether they are knitting circles, 4H clubs, or the NFA, commonalities tie us together. And so it is for running. As I was running the trail that I often run, I would come across people. I am a friendly person, and I say hello to everyone, but not everyone is the same. However, you can be certain that if you are running (and seeming to work hard at it), and another runner comes across you, you will get a least a nod, sometimes a hello, and often a big smile. At first, I thought it was just a nice lady across the street from me who waved and said hello, then again and again people along the trail would say hello. By the end of my run, besides feeling tired but proud of running 12 km, I felt like I had joined some kind of elite club. No wonder people frequent places like the "Running Room", they are looking for some of that comraderie even when not on the trails (because they certainly don't have much for stock). It is almost like we know that we all share the same love-hate relationship with the mistress named running. The distance, the sweat, the blisters on our feet, and the desire to continue to strive to be faster and go farther.

On an entirely different topic, I was pleasantly surprised yesturday. We got some Anesthesia journals in the mail and I started randomly flipping through them. My interest was immediately peaked by several of the articles. I had to sit down at once and read through them, exclaiming my surprise and delight at the author's findings to my husband. Yes, I am still a geek. And yes, despite 6 weeks off, my fire is still lighted by my profession. Maybe I miss work more than I think! I think it will be good to eventually go back to work. It will be great to decide what exactly is MY practice and not have someone correct me on that. It will be an adventure, nonetheless.

Shout out to SK

I just wanted to shout out to the world about what a great place Saskatchewan is! The fields of wheat, canola, and flax are like a multicoloured ocean, waving in the wind. The skies are a canvas in which all the colours of the rainbow are stroked across. The lakes are beautiful and warm, perfect for waterskiiing and swimming. The people are the type of people who would go out of their way to help you. If they saw a stranded person on the road, would they think, gee I shouldn't stop they might hurt me? NO! Of course not! Those people don't live here! They would stop, without question, and help.
And what about the negatives? I would be lying if I said that there were none. For example, the winters are cold. Well, snow is fun if you dress right. Skating, sleding, even skiing is available (although it is not the mountains). There are only two weeks of the year that are really bad, and you should just use those two weeks as motivation to go on a hot trip! Just remember, it could always be worse - the NWT for example. What about the hunters, and the country music? As for country music, just like ANY music there are good songs and bad. Ever heard of Shania Twain? And hunters/fishers? I would take them any day over hippy trippy tree huggers who don't contribute anything to the world except their lament for everything fun in the world! At least they know how to have a good time!
Saskatchewan is an up and coming power in Canada. The economy is booming, and yet it is still affordable to live here! A beautiful place to live, with fun and friendly people!
So, here is to the big rectangle in the middle of the country! Cheers Saskatchewan!!

Lake and Run

I didn't really have much to do today, so I went out to the Lake. Jurgen had forgotten his wallet there, and there was some stuff I wanted to bring back. I also wanted to run some of the hills there. So, I went. It was rainy and cloudy on the way out, but as I descended into the valley I could feel the sun start to peak out and its golden rays wash the city away. It was so peaceful out there. The birds were singing. There was no one around. I thought to myself, once again, how fortunate Jurgen and I are.
As I was exhilarated from the beauty around me, I decided to go for a longish run along with my hill training. I ran the 3 km to the big hill that goes up to the farm land and part of the Reserve above the lake. As I began the half km run in the gravel up to the top, it started to rain. It was gruelling. I had to stop a lot, but I was determined to make it to the top. I know it is important for my training to do hill work, even if I hate it. I completed 9km of a hard run full of rain, wind and hills.
Once again, as I rounded the corner into the property, the sun began to shine. I was dried off right away and able to enjoy a few minutes of peace yet again. One of these days I am going to bring out the cats and stay out there for a day or two. That would be lovely, peaceful, pure bliss. I love the Lake.

Vacation Joy

I am loving my life. I am loving my time off. I am not really doing anything terribly constructive, and I think that is just wonderful. I seem to be able to fill up my days running, reading, hanging out, and running errands. It has been great.
We have also spent a lot of time at the lake where we can play host to many people. I have become a much better waterskier in the last few weeks. Now, I can slalem just like the boys. I may even decide to try my hand at wakeboarding, maybe.
I had a moment of pure bliss today. While surfing the net (which I have not spent any time doing in over a year), my kitty came and sat on my lap. There she sat cuddled up next to me, purring. Both of us were completely content. They are so great. I love that Seven runs to the door whenever I come home. I love that Stupe is so affectionate.
Could I do this sitting around thing forever? No. I think eventually I would go stir crazy. However, the prospect of actually starting practice on my own is a little daunting. But for now, dreams of where we will visit in the next 6 months (Thailand, Jamaica, San Diego) keep that at bay.
So, more advice: I recommend that if anyone can have a few weeks off to do absolutely nothing, they take it. It is very freeing, relaxing, rejeuvenating.