I'm frustrated. I feel like I work a lot. Well, a reasonable amount anyway. I wouldn't want to work any harder. I know I make a decent amount of money. In fact, I saved a ton of money so I could make a large down payment on our new house. Now, however, I don't feel like I have any money. Or, at least that is what my husband tells me.
Ever since we incorporated, all of our money goes into the corporation. Sure, long term this is good. We can invest, make money, and save for our future. That is all very smart and mature. The problem is, I don't want to be mature.
I dreamed of the freedoms I would have when I finished school. I dreamed of seeing far away places, and experiencing new things. The list of places in the world that I would love to see has not decreased, but only grown as my knowledge of different places has increased. And yet here I sit, still dreaming. My hubby keeps telling me that we can't afford to go. It is too much money. We have too much stuff to pay for with a mortgage and property taxes and all that.
My question is: Why does this mundane stuff like mortgages and property taxes have to get in the way of living? 97% of the population has a mortgage. In my mind, it is just like paying for rent every month only you actually get something out of it in the end. Sure, it might be nice to pay it off, but should you kill yourself over it in the process?!
You can always say, we'll go later (this is what my husband says). We'll go when the house is paid for, the car is paid for, we retire....... But, what if that time never comes? What if, suddenly, you are struck with an illness, or accident, and you can't travel and experience the things you desire? Do you really want to risk looking back on your life and thinking, I should have..., I would have..., if only I could have...?
My husband says we shouldn't be "wasting money" all the time. He feels that if something isn't completly tangible forever (like a house, or car, or piece of marble), then it isn't worth having or doing. Travel just doesn't appeal to him. Why? Well, first it comes back to the tangible thing. Once the trip is over, he feels like that is it. No memories are worth that much money to him, and he can't be bothered to look at pictures. The other problem is he has seen all these places already. His family was in a very lucky position to be able to take him to Germany, Greece, Italy, Austria, etc. etc. So, other than Germany, why would he want to go again?
So, I could go by myself, but that comes with its own set of problems. First, if I went alone, he would be so mad at me. Not because I was travelling without him, but because I wouldn't be making money for that time period. He would be the only one "contributing" as he puts it. We almost got divorced when I took time off after finishing my residency for this reason.
Then, I could travel with someone, but it comes back to the money thing again. Not contributing again.
Finally, I really like travelling with him. I married him because most days I actually enjoy spending time with him. I think we travel well together. I would love to experience some of these things together.
So, despite figuring out a way we could fly to Frankfurt together for FREE, stay with his German family for FREE, and go on a mediterranean crise for CHEAP, here I still sit dreaming of the all roads not travelled.