I start work on Monday, and I have the jitters. I am worried that I won't be able to do my job properly. I am worried that people will think I am terrible. I am worried it will take me until 7pm to finish my 7 cases.
There is always this little voice inside my head. It tells me that I am not good enough, not smart enough, that I keep fooling people. Do other people have this voice too? Most the time I am able to smush it down inside and remind myself of how far I have come. Me, no one else, me. I got into Medicine. I graduated with Distinction. I matched to my first choice in Anesthesia. I passed my Royal College exams. So, have I fooled people? No. I worked at it, hard, and was successful.
I must remember that I can do this. That I do have the knowledge. And, I am not really alone. I can call on Jurgen, or Paul, or Annabelle, or Tim, or..... I am sure the nurses and the surgeon will take pitty on me, as it is my first day.
That little engine never seems to get off the track. It just keeps on chugging: I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.....