Thursday, September 4, 2008

crazy person?

I think I am a crazy person. Ok, not in the strictest sense of the word, but a little mental at least. Why? You ask. Why would someone who seemingly is loving her life and so happy be a bit mental? Well, that is just it. I feel a bit lost. I have been working for so long (my whole life, in fact) towards something, that now that I do not have a goal or ambition, I feel lost. I thought about taking a class, but university classes have already started. Not to mention that we will be away for 3 weeks straight. Then, I thought of taking a dance class, or a pottery class, but same problem. For it to be worth it, I should be here for the whole thing.
So, what can I do? Well, I did plan a three week trip to an exotic country. That did eat up a lot of time and energy, but it is complete now, just waiting for us to take off. Other options? I suppose I could throw myself into work, but I am not too sure how to do that. I don't do research (nor do I want to), I don't have a special position in the department (nor do I want one), and there is only so much reading one can do (especially after just studying the hardest I ever have for over a year straight).
A couple more ideas: I could start studying for the TEE course that we are attending in Feb (probably a good idea). I could read a lot of journals (and actually read them instead of just the abstracts). I could find a couple of aerobic classes (drop-ins). During the day I am busy at work, it is just at night.
I think all of those are good ideas. Then in Jan. if I still want to take a language or pottery class, I still can. That little engine that ran so hard for so long last year just doesn't want to stop.
I knew I could, I knew I could, I knew I could......

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