Random occurences before year's end

A quick update of random occurences:


We had a good Christmas. Only cooked for 7, but had enough food for 15, typical me. Everything turned out yummy and on time. I bought my hubby a snowblower (really a gift for both of us, so I don't have to shovel), and he bought me jewelery. We had a funny video, and then played some Wii. It was good. Then, back to work after Jennie's wedding reception and a well deserved day off.

Then, I had something very interesting happen. I had a patient who ended up being diagnosed with epiglottitis! Previously, a life threatening childhood problem that has become almost extinct due to vaccinations, now becoming more common in the adult population. That was what this was, an adult coming for something totally unrelated! In the end, very interesting, and he ended ulp doing well.

And, we are dealing with our house again. First, it was the shower. Long story short, they had tiled over wood instead of cement or cement board, and it was rotting, and they had to rip the whole shower apart and redo the tiling (which took 8 weeks). Now, we are dealing with water damage. We have only been in our house since April, and thus we have not been in it when it was really cold before (nor had anyone else for that matter). So, in our bathroom (again) there is a spot that is REALLY cold on the ceiling in comparison with the rest and it is causing water condensation and has created a stain on the ceiling and is causing the stipling to come off. The other area is in the basement. We had told them about this when we first got in the house, and the builders brushed it off as them putting in the tiling in the basement before other stuff was finished and a little leak caused the stain on the tiling. So, they changed the tile in hopes that it wouldn't be a problem (I call bullshit). Well, the new tile is now stained too. Thus, water damage and a leak from somewhere (which is what we were trying to tell them in the first place). Talk about shoddy workmanship! Now, they are telling us that because the house has been standing here complete without anyone in it for over a year, that we do not have any warranty (which was one of the requirements we had when we bought the house). We wouldn't have found any of the bathroom stuff until it had been used! What crap! Well, if they don't fix it, rest assured that we will be raising quite the stink! Not to mention not building with them again, and there aren't that many builders in Regina, and we would make sure to let EVERYONE we know in Regina know about them. Trust me, Regina is small and word gets out. So, wish me luck on this account anyway.

Finally, we are on call tomorrow night for New Year's. I get to spend the night giving anesthetics to people who are unfortunate enough to require surgery that night. Well, at least I get to spend it with my husband. I will just run over to the next operating room at midnight and give him a New Year's kiss! What romance! Ah well, taking one for the team, I always say!
So, everyone, wish me luck, and have a great New Year's!!

When stuff is just stuff, but isn't

I lost my wedding ring. I remember having it at work, and at one point taking it off to put on hand cream. Then, when i went to find it yesturday, I couldn't find it. Did I leave it at work? Will someone have found it and turned it in, or just have taken it.
My husband was so good about it when I told him about it. He was clearly upset, but saw that I was CLEARLY upset (i. e. crying and such), and did not make a big deal about it. "It is just 'stuff'", he said, "We can replace it". And, he was right. But, it was sentimental to us both. He told me later that he remembers the exact moment when he put the engagement ring on my finger on Hornby Island after asking me to marry him. He remembers me walking down the aisle on our wedding day. He remembers putting the wedding band on my hand to signify that we were joined as one. I have these memories too. Funny that "stuff" can end up meaning so much just because of what it signifies.
I tore our house apart thinking that there was NO WAY I could have left it at work! I had to have brought it home! Didn't I have it last night? Then why couldn't I find it now? I even looked in weird places for it, but to no avail.
I had finally given up, and was doing laundry. I was doing a load of whites and heard something rattling around in the bottom of the washer. What could possibly be in there? I wasn't doing jeans or something so there shouldn't be change (which I have also washed). And there it was! Lying at the bottom of the washer gleamingly clean, like the day I got it!!
I was so relieved! Not that we don't have insurance, we do. Not that we couldn't afford to buy another one, we can. Not that we wouldn't replace it, we would. But for what it MEANS. For the memories behind it. For the love we still share today and what the two rings on my finger (saudered together, so I lost both) signify to everyone who sees it - we are one.
I guess now I get the whole Christmas present thing. Sure, it stems from the tradition of baby Jesus getting gifts from the Wisemen (so they say). And, sure it is just "stuff". But, we buy the things we do for the people we do because of what they mean to us. If we can signify this in some way by getting them some little symbol (instead of gold frankinsense, and mur it is gold, an Xbox, and clothes), we think they will know just how much they mean to us. Maybe we should just tell them how much they mean to us? But memory is fleeting and sometimes the "stuff" is a reminder.

Busy sidewalks

Stumbling around in a sleepless, tired haze, I somehow managed to almost finish my Christmas shopping today. I have to admit, though, that I am a very LAZY shopper. I prefer gift cards to the real thing. Then, people can get what they want and I don't have to worry about them taking it back, and they don't have to worry about hurting my feelings if they want to take it back. For those I didn't by gift cards for, I would buy things that I liked and could see myself wanting. That is always the best gift, isn't it? If you think it is nice and would want it, why wouldn't someone else?
Then, I managed to drive back home, put this all away, and make baby back ribs and cheesy potatoes in the oven so my husband could come home to a fully cooked meal. God! Does that sound "Betty Crocker"?! I am not really so domestic, but I do like to cook.
All this with only about 4 hours of sleep! I was on Labour and Delivery last night. The sad thing is that I was BORED from 4pm until 11pm. Then, as per usual, all the babies were born after midnight. I may have had some energy today, but I definately didn't look it. At rounds first thing this am, people kept asking me if I had had "a rough night", and then at Costco, I ran into one of the nurses and she asked if I worked nights last night. Apparently, like my emotions, I am not so good at hiding my fatigue.
But December is always like that, isn't it. So busy busy. Parties, and working, and family and shopping, and decorating, and donating, and planning, and shopping, and parties, and working, and family...... As one of my friends put in on Facebook, "Fack, I need a day off!" I guess it is one of the reasons I am not such a fan of Christmas. It is really busy for not really that much pay off. My fav Christmas was the time my family all went to Cuba. No presents, no tree, no worries. But, we can't do that every year. And, now that it is up, my tree and decorations do look nice, so I guess it is OK.
One thing I do love about Christmas, though, is the music. I LOVE Chirstmas carols. My absolute fav is "The Chestnut Song" that and "O Holy Night". Everyone has a favorite, and I always find it interesting exactly which one it is.
So...... What is yours?

Beige and Colour People

I spent the day today with one of my longest (Iprefer this term to "oldest") friends. We talked about a lot of different things (cats and dogs, babies, relationships, scripts, etc.), but one thing we talked about at great length (and she herself has blogged about) was what she calls, "beige vs. colour people".
"Colour People" are those types of people who are expressive, boisterous, and loud. They talk with their hands and are animated. They sometimes do crazy things, like randomly burst into song, or dance. When they are around people, they leave the time spent with them feeling energized.
"Beige People" are the complete opposite. They are introverted and prefer alone time. They are quiet, subdued, and proper. They would NEVER burst into song, and may even be horrified if someone they were with did do. When they are around people, they leave the time spent with them feeling drained.
As much as there are some people who are TRUE Colour People or TRUE Beige People, I believe we are all a mix. Take me for example. My friend and her husband tell me that I am "one of them", a Colour Person. And I am. I do randomly burst into song or dance. I am sometimes loud, and always opinionated. I talk with my hands, and am very expressive (it is often hard for me to hide what I am truly feeling on my face). But, I work in a world where one needs to be beige, and so I do that too. I can have a meaningful discussion about Quality Insurance and patient safety. I can put my head down and work quietly. In another life, I am sure I would be pure colour, but there would always be the little Beige Person inside.
On the other hand, there are people whom I call "Closet Colours". They are the Beige People who have a little Colour Person in them who is screaming (or singing or cheering madly) to get out! They are the Rider fans who put a watermelon on their head and paint themselves head to toe in green, and then go back to their accounting jobs the next day. They are the people at parties who suddenly become so fun, a side of them you never see.
As I said today to my friend (although about a different topic), there needs to be balance. It is OK to be a Colour Person. It is OK to shout out, sing, and have fun! Be crazy once in awhile, take a tapdancing class, or a bellydancing class, or do a strip tease for your husband! Come on Closet Colours, you are in there somewhere and we know you can do it!!!
But, it is also OK to be a Beige Person. One needs quiet moments of reflection and time to work hard. It is OK to be alone and appreciate just yourself (plus or minus a cat or two) for a bit.
Remember, balance is the spice of life.

In Saskatchewan

In Saskatchewan, we have huge skies.
We can see from horizon to horizon.
In Saskatchewan, we have four seasons.
From hot like the desert to cold like the Arctic.
In Saskatchewan, we relish the summer.
It is short, but it is so sweet.

In Saskatchewan, there is a sea of green.
We proudly support our teams.
In Saskatchewan, there is no band wagon.
We are loyal through and through.
In Saskatchewan, there is football.
Not just a game, but a way of life.

In Saskatchewan, we are family.
We are small and know a lot of each other.
In Saskatchewan, there is love.
Love of our province, and our people.
In Saskatchewan, there is support.
No matter who needs it, it will be there.

In Saskatchewan, we have many farms.
We feed all the world.
In Saskatchewan, we are proud.
Tough times has made us so.
In Saskatchewan, we don't shy from work.
Hard work had made us who we are.

We are few, but we are proud.
Proud and strong.
God bless Saskatchewan!

wasted resources

I find some people really frustrating. Health care is "free" in Canada (i.e. taxpayers pay for it) and universal. That being said, there are a few individuals who seem to use up a lot of our resources, and it just doesn't seem fair.
When someone comes in who obviously doesn't care about their own health, why should I care? I still do, don't get me wrong. I always care. I always treat everyone the same way and give good care, whether I truly think they deserve it or not.
It does, however, say something about our society when we are willing to spend thousands of health care dollars on IV drug users and their screwed up kids. Not to mention other scarce resources like blood products, or putting the health care workers at risk.
True, I only see the end product, not how they got to that place. Some would say we should be doing more for this population. We should be helping them befoe they get to this point. I agree, but again, I only see the end result. I only hear the lies about not doing drugs when there are fresh track marks on their arms. I only feel frustrated when it is almost impossible to get an IV because they have abused their veins so bad that there is just none left. Getting puked on, getting sworn at, and potentially having my life at risk if I poke myself with a dirty needle, all of this makes me angry.
Maybe this is the extreme. But are other types of people any better? How about the smoker who needs to have several thoracotomies because they now have cancer? Or the obese patient who needs a joint replacement? Or the drinker who has liver failure and the umteen complications with that? All of this makes me realize why universal health care is not so popular in the United States. Why should someone who is healthy and takes care of themselves (eating well, excercising, not smoking) pay for someone who seems to just not give a shit?
I feel like yelling! I feel like shaking those people! You almost died! Doesn't that count for anything?!
And, in the end they will continue to use, continue to smoke, continue to abuse their bodies, and I am left to clean up the mess.

unhappy news

I feel sorry.
Sorry about what happened.
Sorry you struggle so much.
Sorry I can't help more.

I feel sad.
Sad that you are hurting.
Sad you feel you have no one to tell.
Sad you are so far away.

I feel angry.
Angry that you never listen.
Angry that this keeps happening.
Angry that someone would do this to you.

I know that you, too feel this.
I can only try to feel hope.
Hope that it will work out.
Hope you will be happy.
Hope to see you soon.

curling and age

We went to the OR Christmas Party last night. Usually we go glow bowling, but this year they wanted to do something different. So, they decided to go curling. OK, I have to admit I had some preconcieved notions about curling. It is not very exciting to watch on TV, and it seemed like a lot of older (sometimes overweight) people curled. How hard could it be? For that matter, how fun could it be?
Despite this, my husband and I decided to go and give it a try. He curled for a season or two in Med school, but hasn't been on the ice in years. At least he sort of knew what he was doing, I didn't have a clue! But really, that made it fun! I had no idea, but people were willing to teach me. And, we weren't really playing competitively, it was just for fun. We were all laughing at my lack of skills and totally ineptitude, as well as everyone else's. Most people had said that the last time they had curled was in high school. Did I miss that day? I really don't remember EVER going curling. In the end, it didn't matter. There were a few people who could really play, but the rest of us were just there to have fun.
We ended the night sitting around having a couple of drinks and chatting. There were some spouses of people who work in the OR who were there whom I had never met before. One of the spouses was on the opposite team to us, but really took me under his wing and was coaching me on how to play the game. My husband was talking to him after, making small talk. You know, asking him what he did, telling him what he did....
Then the man asked what I did, and my hubby told him that we did the same thing. He was so shocked. "You're an Anesthesiologist too?!" he exclaimed. It was like he just couldn't believe that this idot he had been teaching to curl could possibly be a physician, let alone an anesthesiologist! I just laughed. I think he thought I was about 22, and that my hubby was way older (and smarter, and mature).
I don't mind that people are amazed that I am a doctor, that they think I am too young. I worry (like everyone does, I am sure) about the wrinkles, and soft bits, and grey hair. To have someone be so surprised like that makes me feel good, like I shouldn't worry so much. I always say, when I stop hearing that, then I will be sad! So for now, they can be shocked that I look so young, my soul is still old.

Tolerant?

My husband came home today and told me a very disturbing story. He was leaving the mall and saw a parked car. He wasn't sure what made him look closer, but he did. Inside, was a lady sitting by herself in the back seat covered head-to-toe in a burka. She was obviously waiting for her husband to come back from the mall.

In Canada we pride ourselves on being a tolerant nation. You can come here, be from anywhere, and that is OK. We are all immigrants, afterall (well, except first nations people). You can be any colour, have any religion, and that is all OK. But, is it really?

Is it really OK to allow oppression to happen? Is it really OK for a wife to have no rights? To be left alone to sit in the back seat of a car, like a dog? And, what about the burka? Sure, I understand that some women say they don't want men eyeing them, and this is the way to ensure that, but head to toe?? And, if in their country a women decides to not be totally covered and she is raped, the men say it was because she wasn't covered, and she was asking for it. RIDICULOUS!

I believe in being tolerant. I believe in different races, and religions. But, I also believe in equality for men and women. I believe a marriage is a partnership, a team, not one person coming before another.

I may not be able to change any of this, but at least I can be happy in the knowledge that I truly have a partnership. My husband would never do that to me. He knows better!

vaccine and humor

I got the H1N1 vaccine today. With all the hype and worry, not to mention potential danger to myself and my patients, I thought it would be a good idea if I was vaccinated. As I got it first thing at work, before my day started, they allowed me to "budge" in front and get the shot. All the nurses in the OR were in the line behind me watching as I got it.

It is so funny how we use humor to cope with stressful situations. We were all laughing, saying how we needed someone to hold our hand because we might cry, joking that we would take all the chocolates so there would be none for anyone else. Then, as soon as it was done someone said, "oh, she looks pale!", followed immediately by, "She's always pale!" and more laughter.

I find this is always the way in medicine. With anything stressful or scary we often use humor to cope. Most the time it is black humor. And sometimes it is so dark that it might even be offensive to people not in the medical profession or in that situation. Sometimes with a group of people in the medical field we can get to talking about "funny situations" that no one else gets but us. We are geeks, if nothing else.

Anyway, as much as we used humor to get through "the little prick", now my arm is hurting, and my head has felt foggy all day. I would like to blame the shot on the fogginess (if that is a word), but who really knows? Maybe it is the cold I had last week. Maybe it is just being tired. In the end, hopefully it will all be worth it and I will have protected myself and my patients.

bad dream

I had a horrible dream last night. It was so weird, and so sad. I dreamt that for some reason I had to euthanize my two cats.
Now, you have to understand just how important these cats are to me. They are my family, my friends, my babies.
In this dream I knew this had to be done, but I didn't want to do it, but I couldn't help it either. I was the one to euthanize them. I watched them die. It was awful.
I woke up not just sad, but absolutely sobbing. I was horrified with what we had done, riddled with guilt, and totally devastated by the outcome.
Why would I dream something so awful? What could my subconscious possibly be trying to tell me? I need to be better to my kitties? I don't think so. There are very few cats who are as spoiled and well taken care of as them!
My husband thinks I am too attached to them. Well, I don't have other little things (like kids) to love, so why not?
In the end, it was a stupid dream that most likely means absolutely nothing. It is too bad that it had to affect me so much.

Real Stress?

I am stressed. But, not about "real" things. When I was a resident, I worried all the time about how I was doing. Was I learning enough? Did people think I was smart? Was I going to be good at my job? Can I really do this? What if I don't know enough? What if someone dies because of me? Etc..... Then, there was always the stress of the exam. Would I be able to pass it? Again, what if I don't know enough? What would people think if I didn't pass? Oh, the humiliation!
The time came for my evaluations, and the exam. I passed. I did know enough. I was not humiliated. Then, I worried about starting work: Would I know enough? Can I really do this? What if someone dies because of me? I started work. I do know enough (although there is always more to learn), and I can really do this.
So, now what am I stressed about? Well, in chronilogical order: Apparently I am not such a cook. This week I have tried to go outside my comfort zone and make some new items. Unfortunately, they didn't really work the way I wanted them too. What will I make for supper tommorrow? Why does nothing ever work out? How can I get my hubby to take a turn at cooking?
Kids. Should we have them? Do I want them? Sometimes I think I do. Sometimes I think I can make the commitment. I see my friend's little 6 month old and marvel at how cute he is! Look at his clothes, his smile, his chubby face. But I worry. Would I be a good parent? Would I even like kids? What about the couple time? What about my life? Would kids fit into my life? Can I even have them? Maybe I waited too long. And if I do want them, how do I get my husband to be convinced that this is what he wants to?
Then, My girlfriend is getting married and I am giving a speech. I have put it off, but I can no longer. Time is running out, and I still haven't completed it. Sure, I have some ideas, but it isn't solid. So, I think: What if it isn't good enough? What if people laugh? Or don't? What if my friend hates it?
Finally, I am planning a miniconference for the anesthesiologists of Saskatchewan. It is only one day, and yet I feel like I have hours and hours and hours of work to do for it. I feel, again, like time is running out. What if I don't get enough money? What do I do about the residents? What if the day sucks? What if the food sucks? What if the entertainment sucks? How do I get the day accredited? What if I can't get it accredited?
So, are these really things to be stressed about? Or, am I one of those people who always has to have something to be worried/stressed about? Sure, maybe the last one is stressful, but the first? And the middle ones, I am not so sure.
Now, I am just stressed about worrying. Geesh.

closing up

This weekend was all about closing up the lake. This time of year always makes me sad. We make so many memories, and have so much fun at the lake. Then, when it finally turns cold we have to bring everything in and lock up for the season. Another chapter in the book of life, over.

We worked hard the last two days. Luckily, we decided to do all the "in the water" stuff yesturday when it was still nice out. We took in the Seadoo, took in the boat, and brought the dock in. By the time we got home, the weather had already started to turn. First the wind almost blowing the cover right off the boat as we attempted to tie it down, then the rain and cold. Today was really cold. 10 degrees and windy. Jurgen's Dad came out to help us, so we were able to get everything else done. The cabin is completely closed up for the season.

Autumn is my favorite time of year out at the lake. It is so pretty with all of the leaves turning colour. Usually we don't totally close up until October sometime, but we have other things we need to do, so we decided to close up early.

Someday maybe we will build a new cabin. One that is insulated so we could use it a bit longer. If we had a fireplace in the house we could light it and maybe go cross country skiing, or get a snowmobile and go sledding, or just come out where it is quiet. It would be less work to close things up then, and maybe then it wouldn't feel quite so sad. It wouldn't really be closed up then, just the water stuff would be away. Well, one can dream anyway.

I guess you always have to have something to look forward to. I always look forward to the summer and being at the lake. So, here is to next year. I am looking forward to it already!

First day memories

I have been working here in Regina as an anesthesiologist for over a year now. I think about my first day with fondness today, as a colleague has his first day here. In fact, he was a resident here in Regina and came into my room to work that day. I thought it was an "ambitious day" and didn't expect to be finished on time. I was right, we weren't, but it was still a good day. I learned so much about myself that day. About my abilities to teach, work effiiciently, and the best part, that I could truly do my job well without help (residents don't count, and he was only there for part of the day).
Now, it is his turn to experience that. The unknown is always scary, but I am certain this guy will do amazing. He is SMART! I have been trying to give him hints along the way that would make his transition easier, so I hope they help.
I always feel a sense of pride when my friends from medical school, and residency begin to work, especially in the same place as me! So long ago we were all bright-eyed, scared students sitting in the classroom as the professor told us all how OLD we would be when we finally finished medical school! I remember wondering what my life would be like when that moment finally came, and not quite being able to picture it. Man, was I scared. And then, 9 years later when I had my first day as a staff I was scared again. Excited, but scared. More worried, I guess than scared. Worried that I wouldn't know what to do. Luckily, my training and knowledge kicked in right away, and I really didn't need to worry.
So, here is to the new member of our department! Cheers! I hope you love your job as much as I do!

difficut to read

I really hate it when I can't read people properly. Was that an insult? Or, were they just joking? When I first met my now hubby, I hated him. Mostly, it was just that - I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. I mean, he doesn't even know me, so how can he be insulting me and making fun of me? Then I realized that that is a lot of what he does. Now I get it. Now I love him. I have been with him for 13 years, I should get it, but this isn't about him.

I worked with someone yesturday who I just met. I don't know him from a hole in the ground. For all I know, he could be a really amazing, funny, nice guy, but he could just as easily be an asshole. And, I couldn't read him. Apparently, I am not the only one. When I asked around, people would either tell me that they didn't like him, or that they couldn't read him. Not really a glowing recommendation. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I am not sure.

I am still new and so don't really feel I can tell people (surgeons) where to go if they piss me off. Also, that is just not my style. I am much more likely to grimace, and vent about it later (my poor hubby usually bears this burden). And so, when he started telling me what to do, I just put my head down and did it. I don't like conflict, and frankly, I didn't really care.

However, at the end of the day, after a 6 hour case (ugh!) he says to me, " You are lucky you have a job.". WTF! What does that mean? Was that a joke? Was he referring, maybe to the economic downturn and that we are all lucky to have a job? Was he referring to the fact that he lost his job and now had to come to poor old Regina to do some remdial time, and I was lucky I didn't have to do that? Or was he just being an asshole (especially because it wasn't a bad case).

At first I wasn't sure what I had heard. Then, I was too shocked to say anything, or even ask him what he meant. Again, I would love to give him the benefit of the doubt, but...... In the end, I was mad, and still am. Most of the surgeons here like me. They know that when I am there, I like to work. I work hard. And I really try to do what is best for the team (including the surgeon and most importatnly, the patient).

I guess it doesn't really matter, as this guy isn't going to be here long. However, next time you can bet, I won't just vent afterwards.

evil weather

It seems like the weather is conspiring against me. Everytime I am working it is really nice. Take yesturday, for example. So lovely. So hot. And yet, I could not go to the lake because I was on call. Now that I am off for today it is cold and cloudy. And not just a little cold (say like 19 degrees), but downright chilly.
I am sure this will not help my hubbys state of mind. At the beginning of the summer when he was still really worried about having a mortgage and all that, he was talking of maybe selling the lake property. He kept saying that we are never there and that if we sold it we would not have a mortgage anymore. So this yucky weather sure does not help that.
It seems like the only time there was really nice hot weather at the lake was while we were away in BC, and not there to use it. Typical.
Well, what can one do besides wish that summer will last well into October and that we are still in for some really HOT weather. Yeah right.

July Jasper to Hornby

This is from the top of one of the mountains in Tofino, which was our last destination.

This is the same mountain, just a different view.

This is a shot from Athabasaca Falls in Jasper. It was amazing how the water carved right through the stone.

We took the Jasper Tramm (like a gondola) and then hiked to the top of the mountain. I am afraid of heights, so I was very proud of myself for doing this. The view was worth it, though.

Thi is the view from the top of the tramm.

We saw so muchwild life while we were in Jasper. There was a family of Elk who visited our hotel (Fairmont Jasper) every day. This is a baby elk (fawn) who we saw one day.

On the way back from the hot springs we saw a mama bear and three of her cubs. she was digging for something in the dirt. Whatever it was, they sure loved it.

This is the little baby bear cub we saw.

This is on the beach in Tofino. I kept wondering, "does it ever get warm here?"

Canada Day

Happy Canada Day! This is the day that we all reflect on this beautiful country of ours. We can all be happy that this is the place that we call home. A large and bountiful land where promise and hope abounds, people are tolerant of one another, and beauty can be seen on every corner. Thank goodness we are Canadians living in this country of peace, prosperity, and happiness!
Today we enjoyed the festivities in Wascana park (along with 40,000 others), and tomorrow off to the lake to enjoy more of the fine weather. I just love the summer! Then, to BC for a bit to visit the coast. Why would we go anywhere else in the summer when Canada is SO beautiful?
Lovely.

cars and houses

There are both good things and bad things going on at the moment, as is the case with life, I guess.
The bad thing is really not that bad. The car place phoned to say my car was ready (finally!), and I went to pick it up. I got in and drove away, only to realize 2 blocks later that there were a lot of dash lights on. I thought, I could not worry about it and call them, or I could turn around. So, I turned around and showed them the lights. They told me that it was Ok and that just the computer needed to be reset and I could drive the car. So, I left and went to work. Unfortunately, they called me to say that actually, I shouldn't be driving the car because I need a new "wire harness" (what IS that?!), and they needed to give me another rental. I just swapped the cars again, BOOOO!
On the other side, is the good side. I was in Sasktoon for a meeting yesturday. It was really quick, in and out, but it did help me realize something. I love where I live. I stayed with a friend who has a lovely house, but it is older and near a busy street. They didn't have aircon, and it was very hot. Having the window open made a huge difference, but then I could hear all the traffic from the street. Not to mention the group of kids at one in the morning on the corner who were yelling at each other! Needless to say, it was not restful.
At our house, it is SO quiet. We live on a quiet cresent and back onto farm land. Our house is far enough from our neighbors that I never hear them. There are no cars, or yelling kids to tend with, and our new house has aircon. Not just that, but I love the area. So many trees, a small town feel, wildlife nearby, and yet so close to the city that we can get anything anytime. We definately made the right choice when we bought this house. I would never go back!
Now, if we could just sell our other house....

Retraction

I realize I was whining when I wrote yesturday. The rain always makes me depressed and grumpy.
Let's be realistic here. In a little less than one year, I have visited Halifax, Montreal, Thailand, BC, and San Diego. So, really, I shouldn't be complaining.
Sure, we have no "big trips" planned on the horizon, but we did just by a new house, a new dock, blinds for the house, and a whole speaker system for the house.
My hubby says that perhaps I am only truly happy when I am spending scads of money. Maybe he is right. I do get a high from it. He thinks that is a little crazy and maybe I should "talk to someone" about it. I think it is pretty normal to feel like that. Anyway, it is not like it is out of conntrol or something.
I was blaming my poor hubby, but without him I would spend all my money with little regard for things like taxes, savings, RRSPS, and property taxes. He takes care of the money situation and does an exceedingly good job.
I guess I just worry. I worry about running out of time. I worry I will decide to have kids, and it will be too late. I worry I will decide to travel, and it will be too late. I worry about spending all of my time at work. Life is just so short.
So, today I am going to try to turn over a new leaf. Despite the fact that it is still raining, I am goin to be thankful for what I have. Thankful for what has come to pass, and thankful for what may be. Maybe there is a compromise here. I could try, for the next few months, to not plan something. Instead do inexpensive things like go to the lake. Then, in the start of the new year I can plan a really nice hot trip somewhere. My hubby tells me he really does want to do that. Maybe we could even explore some of the places in our own back yard - Craik, Moose Jaw, Yorkton, etc. Maybe there is some hidden gem right here that I haven't yet found....

Roads not travelled

I'm frustrated. I feel like I work a lot. Well, a reasonable amount anyway. I wouldn't want to work any harder. I know I make a decent amount of money. In fact, I saved a ton of money so I could make a large down payment on our new house. Now, however, I don't feel like I have any money. Or, at least that is what my husband tells me.
Ever since we incorporated, all of our money goes into the corporation. Sure, long term this is good. We can invest, make money, and save for our future. That is all very smart and mature. The problem is, I don't want to be mature.
I dreamed of the freedoms I would have when I finished school. I dreamed of seeing far away places, and experiencing new things. The list of places in the world that I would love to see has not decreased, but only grown as my knowledge of different places has increased. And yet here I sit, still dreaming. My hubby keeps telling me that we can't afford to go. It is too much money. We have too much stuff to pay for with a mortgage and property taxes and all that.
My question is: Why does this mundane stuff like mortgages and property taxes have to get in the way of living? 97% of the population has a mortgage. In my mind, it is just like paying for rent every month only you actually get something out of it in the end. Sure, it might be nice to pay it off, but should you kill yourself over it in the process?!
You can always say, we'll go later (this is what my husband says). We'll go when the house is paid for, the car is paid for, we retire....... But, what if that time never comes? What if, suddenly, you are struck with an illness, or accident, and you can't travel and experience the things you desire? Do you really want to risk looking back on your life and thinking, I should have..., I would have..., if only I could have...?
My husband says we shouldn't be "wasting money" all the time. He feels that if something isn't completly tangible forever (like a house, or car, or piece of marble), then it isn't worth having or doing. Travel just doesn't appeal to him. Why? Well, first it comes back to the tangible thing. Once the trip is over, he feels like that is it. No memories are worth that much money to him, and he can't be bothered to look at pictures. The other problem is he has seen all these places already. His family was in a very lucky position to be able to take him to Germany, Greece, Italy, Austria, etc. etc. So, other than Germany, why would he want to go again?
So, I could go by myself, but that comes with its own set of problems. First, if I went alone, he would be so mad at me. Not because I was travelling without him, but because I wouldn't be making money for that time period. He would be the only one "contributing" as he puts it. We almost got divorced when I took time off after finishing my residency for this reason.
Then, I could travel with someone, but it comes back to the money thing again. Not contributing again.
Finally, I really like travelling with him. I married him because most days I actually enjoy spending time with him. I think we travel well together. I would love to experience some of these things together.
So, despite figuring out a way we could fly to Frankfurt together for FREE, stay with his German family for FREE, and go on a mediterranean crise for CHEAP, here I still sit dreaming of the all roads not travelled.

houses

Last night we had a little house warming party. Mostly people from work. It was fun, but a bit of work (cleaning, food, planning, etc.). I still look around this house and think to myself, "Do we really live here?". Someone described it well yesturday, as a "grown-up house". And that it is. My hubby tells me I will die here (he never wants to buy another house, and still thinks buying this one was a bad idea), I disagree, but am happy here nonetheless.
Hoever, even as we are happy in our new grown-up house, I still think about our little condo. Alone, empty, just waiting patiently to be loved by someone again. We went by today, and I was a bit sad. On one hand I always felt like that was my hubby's house, not really mine. But, we did live there together and it was always where I stayed when I would come to Regina to do rotations, so there are memories there.
It is too bad that it hasn't sold yet. It is a nice little starter home, or executive condo. It was perfect for us - yard work and snow removal taken care of, but still in a great location and with nice upgrades within. I just can't believe that it wouldn't be perfect again for someone else.
The biggest problem is really the money. I wish we could sell it. That would help with the stress my hubby feels about buying this house. We would feel relieved. Maybe then he would be a bit more relaxed about spending money on frivolous things, like travel. However, in a buyers market in a recession, it is hard. I still think the right person will come along. We just have to be patient. As I said, it was perfect for us, so why not for someone else?

one year ago

One year ago it all came true. The culimination of everything I had been working for for so long finally came to pass. One year ago I wrote, and passed, my Royal College exams.
I was sitting in the OR listening to the soft beep beep of my monitors as the surgeon continued on with surgery and I realized what the date was. I realized that right then some of my friends were in the middle of their exams. I told this to the nurses, and told them that one year ago I passed my exams. I got goosebumps.
I remember that day so vividly. I remember not wanting to eat breakfast because I was nervous, but knew I had to have something in my stomach. I remember putting on the suit and special shoes I had bought for the occaison. I remember driving in our rented car and getting stuck in construction and worrying about not being there in time. I was stressed, but trying to calm my hubby down (who was driving). I remember the big white tent outside the Royal College. I remember the little "pep talk" they gave before the exam. No, not what he actually said, just the small room and little chairs, and a dozen nervous faces all chuckling at his poor attempt at humor. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. I remember how I felt after each question. The first set really good, the next not as good, and by the last was thinking that I hadn't done so well. I remember rushing through the little survey they had at the end so I could leave. I just had to get out of there! I remember stepping out of the building and frantically phoning my hubby to come and pick me up, but he was there, a crooked little smile on his face. I remember feeling, what? Relief that it was over? Trepidation? I am not sure, but there was a rush of emotions and as soon as I saw him, I started to cry. Like I said, I had talked myself into thinking that I hadn't done very well.
Later on, we went for dinner with my best friend and her partner. It was a lovely meal, only slightly spoiled with a phone call. One of the other people I had written with had phoned to tell me that she had found the exam SO easy and that she had just found out she passed. I never knew how much I really disliked her until that moment. What if I had not passed?
Finally, the moment of truth. Shaking, I typed in my password onto the computer, to wait for what seemed like an eternity, to find out I had passed! Oh, the joy in that moment. I doubt there will ever be a greater feeling in the world than that. I truly cannot describe it.
Since that moment my life has only gotten better. I work in a great environment, have a new house, and am generally loving life. I feel truly blessed.
So much has happened in a year and it all started one year ago.

I hate The Brick

I hate The Brick.
We have bought a lot of stuff from them over the years - two couches, two chairs, etc. Always because we liked their products and we thought they had OK service. That was until we actually needed their service.
We recently bought a washer and dryer set, and a mattress and boxspring set. Not cheap items. Everything was ducky until we told them where we live. Now, because we live 10km outside the city, their service has gone to shit. They only deliver "out of town" on certain days of the week, and never at night or on the weekend. What a bunch of crap! I can run 10km! So you can't tell me that it is really that far.
We had to fight with the manager to get our stuff delivered at a time when we would actually be home. But, it doesn't stop there.
The first guy who sold us our mattress was really gung-ho, but didn't really know anything about what he was selling. I have since learned that a mattress is not something to take lightly. You don't just buy one because someone tells you it is "the best". Since buying that mattress, my back has ached every morning. In fact, I can't sleep more than about 5 hours or so because I have to get up secondary to pain. Luckily, they let you try out the bed and you can change it.
When we went to the second guy he asked us all sorts of questions about our sleep habits and immediately was able to tell us that the mattress was too firm for us. So, why hadn't the first guy asked us all this?! We wouldn't need to have our mattress exchanged if he had actually known what he was talking about! Not to even mention the washer and dryer. The guy helping me knew less about the machines than I did! I am not some house wife who sits at home dreaming of a new washing machine, but I had at least done some research. He could have too! I finally settled on a set because my husband was fading with interest fast, and the guy couldn't even tell me if they carried the one that I wanted. What a bunch of idiots!
And now we are in the delivery problem again. I took today off, thinking that it would be delivered today, which is what they told us. But, here I sit without a new bed! Apparently, it isn't even here and the date they told us about was only tentative. So, when were they planning to tell us?! Now, I have to try and rearrange my life again so they can bring out a mattress that will, hopefully, be better at some imaginary later date that they have yet to tell us about.
They should be happy they even still have customers in an era like now. That is my new mission in life. I am going to tell everyone about what poor service I have received at The Brick and what idiots they are. Hello blogger, hello Facebook. Bring it on, Brickey.

accidents happen

Ever since Monday I haven't slept right. Ever since Monday I have been afraid. Ever since Monday I have felt sick in the bottom of my stomach. Monday night I crashed my car.
I was on my way to work to start my evening of call. I was rushing. Someone hit me and crashed in my car. It was my fault. I have no excuse, just rushing.
No one was hurt, and yes, that is the most important thing. However, I still feel sick. I feel terrible. Not only for the damage to a car that technically isn't mine (my hubby pays for it), not only for the fact that it is a brand new car, not only that I damaged someone elses car, but because it could have been a LOT worse. No, no one would have died, but anyone of the people invovled in the accident could have been hurt.
Now, whenever I drive down the street I am anxious. Is something else going to happen? Will this time it be someone elses fault, but still not a good outcome? I can still hear the sound of metal against metal, the brakes screeching, and, of course, my own screams in my ears.
I wish I could go back through time. I wish I could make it better, but I can't. Accidents happen, I know, but it doesn't help this feeling.
At least they are fixing the car. At least soon it will be over. A bad memory, but that is all. Sigh. I just wish I could get over it a bit sooner.

spring fun

I love spring and summer. After a LONG cold winter I relish the sun and warmth. Today was a fantastic day! So warm and lovely. Even Jurgen decided he could stand to be outside a bit. We went to the driving range here in White City to "slice" a few balls. So learning to golf! So not good! Alas, but it is still fun. I may be able to convince hubby that we should take lessons. That might be a nice hobby we could do together.
Kitties decided they wanted to be outside too. They have discovered that being out is fun with all the new sights and smells. This time, however, it was Seven who rolled in the dirt! Good thing I invested in some kitty bath wipes! I do love to see them happy, though.
A few more weeks and we will be out at the lake!

indoor outdoor cat

I like watching my cats in their new surroundings. It really emphasizes the differences in the two of them.
We went outside today and I left them off the leashed to let them explore a bit. Seven, who has been outside lots before, was so interested in all the new sounds and smells. She would hear something and try and see where it was coming from. Then stop, sniff a bit, and then hear something else and be off again. She loves it out there! I think she imagines herself as a big cat exploring the forest looking for prey. Queen of the jungle.
Then, there is Stupe. We got her form a pet store, so she has never lived outdoors and it shows. She comes outside because she is curious, but alas, not curageous. She saw Seven out there and thought that maybe she could do it too. So, she went all the way to the field where Seven had been "hunting", but it didn't take long before something scared her and she made a bee-line back to the deck! She did, however, decide to roll in the dirt to prove to everyone that she had been outside (lucky me, I had to wipe her clean before she came in).
I think we all go back and forth between those to states. One day we are truly curageous. We push our limits and explore the jungle to become the hunter. Confident and comfortable.
The next day, we really want to be curageous so we venture out. We cover ourselves up so no one knows our fears, but ultimately something freaks us out and we bolt back to our comfort zone!
In the end, hopefully we all end up happy warm and in someones arms (or lap if you really are a cat) regardless of the adventure we might have had that day.


Puuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Our new home!

This is our new house! We now live in White City, which is a suburb of Regina. It is a brand new home that has never been lived in before us.

This is the back. As you can see, it backs prairie. It is so peaceful out here!

The living room has cathedral style 20ft ceilings! There are built in shelves adjacent to the fireplace and tv in which to store our many finds!

Both Seven and Stupe have been enjoying sunning themselves in the many windows. Doesn't she look happy?!

home

Since leaving home at the tender age of 17 I have never lived in a house. Apartment, condos, even townhouses, but not a house. Well, now is the time. It is Easter Weekend and we are moving into our very first house with a yard, and everything.
The little bungalow-style condo that we live in now was fine for when Jurgen lived here by himself. Occaisionally, I would stay for a month and bring the cats. No problem. We each had our own space. However, after living here for 6 months I soon realized we needed something more. So, the search began.
We looked for only about 4 months. At one point we were planning to put an offer on a house (the one we ended up buying, in fact), but I got cold feet. It just didn't seem right. In the end, it boiled down to the house of our dreams versus a house in the city. The house that we bought it actually in a suburb of the city about a 10 minute drive from where we are now.
Now, every time I am out there I feel a bit more happy, a bit more excited, and even a bit more relaxed. I can see how one could easily slip into small town life out there. Less traffic. Less noise. Less hassle. The only real hassle is the drive back into the city, and that is not a big deal. Afterall, we did just buy a BMW this year.
So, as much as I hate moving, it is good. The packer came yesturday to pack everything up. Today, being Good Friday, nothing happened and we are living in a house full of boxes. Tomorrow, the movers come. Yes, tomorrow will be stressful with moving and unpacking, but in the end it will be worth it.
I am so excited to have a yard, to landscape, and have what I would call a true HOME.

life too short

I find that whenever I am faced with someone's death, even if they aren't that close to me, I am shaken. I guess it forces me to have a look at my own life and my own mortality. Whatever I believe about what happens after, this life is only once, and very short.
My husband's grandmother passed away last night. She was surrounded by family when it happened and in a very lovely setting. There were no needles, monitors, or tubes. She was not in a hospital, but died peacefully in her longterm care home. We were there for part of her journey to the end, but I never felt as if I really new her, and so thought I would not be touched. I have dealt with people dying since I began my career path. Despite all of this, I am always touched.
I mourned today. For her, for her family. Mostly, though, I mourned for mortality and the loss of life. It makes me think, again, about what is important. In the end, who remembers you? What do you leave behind? If you have no family, the answer seems obvious. Unless you are some uber smart and talented person who luckily gets something named after them, in 100 years no one will remember you. However, if you have kids at least your legacy lives on. One small piece of you will remain.
Death is never easy. Maybe it is one of the reasons I do what I do. I try to help people stave off death for a little longer than they might not have been able to. I bring them comfort instead of pain. Sometimes I even get to be involved in bringing new life into the worlds.
I am comforted by the fact that she was not in any pain. I am comforted by the fact that some of her family was there. Still, I sent out a prayer that she might be happy in her existence, and that her family's pain would be eased by this.

Anaheim

This is us on the Universal Studios tour. Some of the same stuff as when I was five was there! Do people even know who Jaws is anymore?

Los Angeles was really cool, but drving in 6 lanes of traffic to get there was crazy!



Everything at DisneyLand seemed so much smaller than when I was five!

San Diego

We were recently in San Diego for a conference. It was a Transesophageal Echocardiography conference. I learned a lot, but it got a bit boring near the end. Nonetheless, I managed to make some friends, do some shopping, and see some sites:

At the conference we had a "wet lab" in which we dissected a pig heart.

These were some of the friends we met there. Tim works in Regina with us, and Francois and his wife we met there.

After the conference was over we did some site seeing in San Diego.

An old aircraft carrier, the Midway, was turned into a museum. We spent almost 2 hours wandering around it and looking at the planes on it.

In Balboa park, there are a ton of museums. One of which was the museum of man. The outside looks like a church!

Suffering in San Deigo

We are in San Diego right now. We have been here for a week, 6 days of which we have been at a very intense conference (the other was arriving here). The first few days were really good. We learned a lot. I thought to myself, "OK, I can do this". I can learn this stuff and do echo, and continue to do Cardiac Anesthesia. The next few days were alright, but not as good. It was repetitive, and I started to not understand everything, but I perservered, I continued. I learned even more. Some of our friends also joined us for those days, and that helped a lot. We could go out for dinner, and joke about some of the things we were supposed to be learning. Then came the "Advanced Course". Not so interesting. Much less understanding. And, finally, I have reached the end. No, not the end of the conference (there is still over 7 hours of lectures left). The end of my patience, the end of caring, the end of wanting to be here anymore. I even said to my hubby that maybe we should think about coming home early.
Alas, all is not lost. Soon we will be on vacation. We can sleep in, go shopping, see some sights, do what we want, and not learn for a little while. I think San Diego might have some fun things to offer (although I don't know that yet), as will Anaheim and DisneyLand. I just have to hold on a little longer.
How did I ever do this for 14 years straight? OK, I guess the last 6 years were more like work with small bouts of lectures thrown in. However, now I really understand how once people get out into the work force they really don't want to go back to school. You just get out of practice.
At least it is cloudy today. It makes it much easier to be in a dark boring room all day. And, we took some time off, and hung out in the hot tub for a bit. That really helped. Now, I feel a little more refreshed and like I could listen to someone blather on about echo for a bit more. It can be sunny on Saturday. Then we can enjoy it.
Just a little more....

cold feet frustration

AAAAaaaaahhhhhh!! I am so frustrated with myself and with my life right now! We have been looking for a house and finally found one that we thought we liked. Jurgen even, somehow, convinced himself that he could be happy there. Two days ago, he phoned into my OR and said we should make an offer on the house. I agreed, but immediately started to feel uneasy. He made the appointment with the realtor the day before we were to go to San Diego on a conference. I agreed, and continued to feel uneasy. Fast forward to today (the day before we go to San Diego).... After not sleeping for two days and worrying, it was the day we would make an offer. The hours ticked by and I did my job. I got home, cleaned the house, and thought to myself, "I can't do this". I knew that somehow I had convinced Jurgen to buy a house, and somehow he had convinced himself he would be happy there, and now I was too nervous to go on. I knew that were I to tell him I didn't want to do this, he would never be convinced again. I hate it when I'm right.

Something wasn't right. Maybe it was the timing. Maybe it was where the house is (in White City). Maybe it was a couple of things I didn't think were "perfect" about the house. Maybe it was just that we were leaving for two weeks to another country and I didn't want the stress of having to negotiate a house while we were away. In the end, it doesn't matter what it was, it just wasn't right. And yes, Jurgen was mad. And yes, I will never be able to convince him to buy a house again.

Then, I am frustrated with my job. I have had a couple of cases that haven't been satisfying lately. I made a couple of calls that ended up being "weak" choices. I was able to rectify the situation, but it was more stressful than it had to be. I have had to call for help, and get assistance much more than I would like. I don't know if I am just hard on myself, but sometimes I feel like the surgeons don't respect me or my decisions. Sure, I am green, but in the end someone thought I was competent, or they wouldn't have given me the FRCPC designation.

So, where do I go from here? San Diego. Literally. I can't possibly think of anything else but this conference right now. Will that house be there when we come back? Maybe. Will we decide we want it then? Maybe. Will I be able to convince Jurgen? Maybe(not). And my job? Well, maybe I just need a vacation.

Tincture of time. That makes everything better.

decisions

I seem to have some major life decisions coming up. It seems harder. Before there was never any doubt about decisions I was making, because unless they were short term, the answer was always the same - finish residency, pass the exam. Now, I have done that, and I need to make some new decisions. First, one that is a bit fun: Buying a house. Do we buy right now? Do we buy or build? Can we live outside the city, like in Emerald Park, or is that too far away? Will it affect our life too much?
Second, one that may affect my career: Should I continue to do cardiac anesthesia? If I do, I have to take the TEE course, write and pass the TEE exam. I think having those skills would be very valuable, but I am just not sure if I want to study for another exam so soon after writing the biggest exam of my life. Also, I am not sure if I want the stress of doing cardiac. Those people die.
Finally, a decision which may affect both of the previous ones: To have kids, or not to have kids? It seems like the next logical thing to do as an adult in a stable marriage with a stable career. If the amount that I love and cherish my cats is an indication of how I would be as a parent, I would have no problem loving them unconditionally. The question is, do I want my life to change (drastically), and am I ready?
The answer to all of these questions: I don't know.
We have started to look for houses, found one we like in White City, and are trying to decide. We are attending the TEE course in San Diego, and then maybe I will have a better idea. I am thinking of letting nature take its course with kids.
Is it right to let fate decide? At this point, it seems like the best decision.

Trying to do right and only being treated wrong

Trying to do right and only being treated wrong. That is what happens in our profession. We do our best, try and do what we think it right for the patient and sometimes bad things still happen. Not every case is as smooth and perfect as we would like. Ultimately, we are still human beings. Unfortunately, sometimes other human beings forget that. Doctors are not computers or robots incapable of human error. We are fallible emotional beings, capable of heartbreak and failure. We hope that those whom we work with will at least understand, afterall they are also human beings expected of amazing feats, but again, that is not always the case.

We expect that we will be treated with respect. That, despite our fallibility others will make an effort to understand and empathize with us. In the end, however, all want is respect. A discussion should ensue, face to face, to discuss problems and solutions. Again, this may not always be the case. Not all individuals play by the same rules, or play fair.

And so, what does one do? Do we decide to retaliate and be undrespectful? Do we seek guidance from others? Do we carry on, hoping things will improve? Do we stop doing what we know is right? Or, do we simply run away, hoping it might be better somewhere else? One can only hope we will make the right decision for ourselves, our patients, and our community.

Contentment has a new name - Regina

I am sitting here watching my favorite television show with one cat on my lap, purring, and the other cat witting behind my head on the couch. I am struck once again by something very profound - contentment. I was at work (which I normally am), and looked around and thought, "Gee, I am lucky". Lucky to work in such a great environment. Lucky to work in such a great hospital and city. Lucky to do what I do. Even more than that, lucky to have my life. My husband, my cats, my job, my family, my friends. I love them all. Regina is a great city. Its warmth may not always stem from its weather, but it comes from the people. That is what makes a city, a home, a heart. The people, and I am content to be one of them.

Boo to the East

Ok, I just had to blog about this because it is driving me crazy. Sure, according to some uneducated Easterners we are the "gap" in the country, but that doesn't mean that what happens here is unimportant. Furthermore, our weather is much more demanding and drastic than anything that happens out East (except for the Maritimes, who get snow up to their rooftops regularly). I finally understand my hubby's feelings.
Oh, boo hoo it is "cold" in the East! Oh, boo hoo Torontonions might have to scrape their windows and actually "bundle up"! Cry me a f*%%ing river!! It is -37 degrees tonight here, and that is WITHOUT the windchill!! Talk about that! Fathom that!
Ok, and before that, when there was so much snow in BC that people had to walk 2km to get to their houses, no on mentioned that until people DIED in avalanches!!
And NO, I am not compaining. I would take the "Pepsi challenge" with any other province. I like it here. I take pride in the fact that I can survive in -50 weather. You know why? Sun. Even though it is F*%&ing cold, we almost always have sun. My mood is directly related to the amount of sun I get. Lots.
I just hate the fact that we are always ignored. You know, I bet the Yukon and NWT feel like that too. How sad.
Boo to the East and all the TV companies that bow to that!!

Well, I guess I have "won". A couple of blogs ago, I mentioned an agreement that Jurgen and I had about houses or workouts. In short, he would either work out, or we would buy a house. Either way I would win, but what I "won" was a new house! We are going to buy a new place (or build). We have talked with the bank, and we are meeting with our realtor on Thursday. I have made out a list of houses from MLS and plan to give it to her. This way we can actually see what we want.

I am very excited, but also a bit nervous. I HATE moving. I am pretty much like my little cat - Stupe. The last time we moved she found a blanket from our old house, crawled underneath and wouldn't come out, even to eat. Poor kitty. Poor me, I feel the same. I find moving really stressful!

The other issue (kids) has not been solved. I still go back and forth (pleasure? of kids versus my life), and Jurgen is not convinced. Ah, alas, only time will tell. It is, however, the real reason for a new house, but I don't tell Jurgen that!

Christmas times

Mount Washington is only an hour from Hornby Island. So, after Christmas we went there and went skiing. What a beautiful spot to ski!


Jurgen looks like a war hero on skis!!


We skiied with George and Sharon. We discovered that with George and Jurgen being similar, and Sharon and myself being similar, we could have a great time together!


The Maslany's all went to BC for Christmas. The initial plan was for everyone to meet on Hornby Island, but when George and Sharon got there they realized just how much snow there was! We joined them later there and saw for ourselves!


We hosted Christmas Eve dinner. Lots of laughs and food. We missed Grandma H as she was still recuperating from her fracture.


Our "Charlie Brown" Christmas treewas adorned by something much cuter - Seven!


Before our own celebration we had our OR Christmas party! Glow bowling and greasy snacks!


December started off with Annabelle having a house warming party. TOO much fun!